Reviews for F r e e F a l l
running-in-the-rain chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
glassy beauty relfected on an ice-frosted pond.
amine chapter 1 . 2/9/2009
i dont really think that this is a haiku
tangledwebweweave chapter 1 . 6/6/2008
Very nice. I feel that way, but no one sees my reflection. Did that make sense?

I've never written a tanka. Can you PM me the format?
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
Great imagery, dark topic. Nice tanka.
gg. lass chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
this is beautiful.

yours until the wind changes,

x Silver x Star x chapter 1 . 4/26/2008
Fantastic imagery. This is very pretty though dark.
MallowsWins chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
I actually liked this one. I was attracted by the title (the way it was written, not the title itself) and I admit I was expecting to be let down with the haiku (or tanka, as the case may be), but thankfully the opposite is true. It started off very pretty, and I was happy with that and would have walked away somewhat satisfied had it ended on the same note as it began, but then it sunk in. Not sure if it was out of tiredness or sheer slowness, but I didn't know what was happening until I read the last line. Then I read it again and kind of went 'oh.' As I said, I honestly think this was more from my own lack of awareness at this time of night (1am- late when you work full time) than any failure on your part to portray the events clearly. After reading it again a few times, I'm actually quite impressed with the writing.

I can't really think of any concrit, but what the hell, I'll give it a shot. Personally I don't like it when a sentence ends half way through a line. I do it all the time myself, but I'm not a fan of it, purely because having a capital letter in the middle of a line is aesthetically unpleasing. Other than that, I'm fresh out, sorry.

Peace, Daze
Kissing Concrete chapter 1 . 4/9/2008
oh god. how depressing. kinda reminds me of "i've been jumping from the tops of buildings"- but at least that song gets happy, cuase the next verse is "i've been dancing on the tops of buildings".

reminded me a bit of a book i read that you didn't so there is no point mentioning it here even though i already mentioned it.

very pretty though, i love your use of words. feels very raw... in a good way. not like raw meat, though a little bit. almost metallic, leaves a metallic taste "in the mouth". even though i didn't read it out loud.

and i feel like a total dork saying this, but what is tanka? i got its a type of structured thing, like a haiku, but what is the format exactly? i think i might be 57577 or somthin.

get unheadachy.

trying to make up for my usual super short reviews, so i'm doin a longer one here. plus you did a long one for mine, so i'm returnin the fav! dandYlion