|Reviews for Only A Thousand Souls|
| DigitalScripter chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
It wasn't too bad, I enjoyed it. With the begining a think the first sentence was good but you need that hook to maybe last a little longer. It was a strong start there but just needs a little more meat around the hook. Anyways good job.
| Rhea Garfield chapter 1 . 4/15/2008
It's good. I will always suggest reading things aloud, however - it helps you catch those nuisance repetitive phrases ('the pass,' for example) and can improve flow. Your characters are interesting. The fact that Acqura has electric blue eyes and black and white hair makes me happy. Who knows why? I don't. Hm.
| rebeldork chapter 2 . 4/14/2008
Okay, I'm reviewing this as I read it, so this review may be disjointed, or long. Just a warning :)
"She was just starting to wake up as the sun was just starting to rise" - you use "just starting to" twice in that short piece, and it's a bit redundant.
I know there's only one character shown here, but you do use "she" a lot and after a while it gets a bit annoying to read. (This may be hypocritical - I know I'm guilty of it, too!)
I like the random tiger. I don't know why, but it just made me laugh ;)
Instead of using commas or separate sentences, I've noticed you like to just add "and". While it does help the sentences get longer, it makes them seem run-on, or like lists. That can get difficult to read, at least to me.
I love your dialogue! It seems realistic and quite snappy, and really helps me discover what your characters are like.
...wait... A wolf, there's randomly a wolf? I thought it was a tiger? Did I miss something?
Overall, I liked it (despite the fact that I gave a LOT of constructive criticism). I'm sorry if I come off as critical in this review, but I did like it and I'll definitely read more soon. For some reason, I don't know if this was just me or if I'm missing something, but I feel like it's a sequel to something. I guess I'll find out what it's all about soon enough :)
| rebeldork chapter 1 . 4/10/2008
I like the way you begin this with a quote - it immediately got me into the story, especially one as interesting as the one you chose. However, your description got a bit redundant at times - you describe her eyes as being blue twice, and it's the same with her white hair. Although I do like the description, I think once is enough; after that it might get boring.
I like your irritable demi-goddess. :) She's interesting!
I'm wondering at their relationship now, but I'm thinking that it'll be expanded throughout the story. I have no time to keep reading now, but I really will finish it later! Good story so far!