Reviews for Oneironauts
Katie Nicole chapter 1 . 1/15/2009
It's hard to leave good reviews for haiku!

To sum it up, this is very beautiful.

You use vocabulary that's just very - POP!
astral boy chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Thanks for your thoughts. I actually read this before but didn't comment... it made me want to submit something haha. Sorry.

I like this and the enjambment thing doesn't bother me- the confusion and disorientation is all conveyed regardless. Perhaps it's because of my indifference towards haikus? Anyway, the way it is is the way it was and that was right.

Thanks again.
Moondog Dozier chapter 1 . 5/12/2008
Very thought provoking, and visual. Great haiku. MD:77.
boys kiss girls chapter 1 . 4/13/2008
Firstly, I LOVE the title and how it implies adventure within the dream.

Secondly, I LOVE the haiku. It's fabulous. I love that it captures so much movement and life into one sentence. I really liked the use of "spirals", as well. It's not really that common. You placed "in my dream" perfectly because it could attatch to the city spiraling or it could attatch (like I originally read it) to "I'm awake". This whole haiku is nothing short of perfect, and, once again, I love it.

It's also great that I know what it's literally about. )
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 4/13/2008
That's very nice. Calming, pretty. I agree with Midnight about the enjambment, but that's the nature of the beast. Sometimes I adjust my own enjambment with haiku just so I get the line breaks I want. Not a big deal. Anyway, this was lovely. Keep writing! :)
Thoughtful Silence chapter 1 . 4/13/2008
Loved the title of this! The word-choice was good, and the ending line was very well done with enough ambiguity to make you think (which is what I look for in a haiku). Anyways, keep up the good work!

-Silence
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 4/11/2008
I love the whole concept and intriguing quality to the last line. The title is spectacular. Great haiku.
Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 4/11/2008
I have to say it straight off the bat - enjambment in haikus bugs me. I think it's because it makes the piece feel like a seventeen syllable sentence that's just broken up in 5-7-5 syllable lines.

Other than the format though, I like the austere simplicity of this piece. The title was brilliant and the soft feeling of this poems adds a nice edge to the read. It's just the form that's bugging me. I almost wish this was the intro or the climactic stanza to a bigger poem instead of being forced into haiku form.

Still, kudos.

Midnight