Reviews for Sequence
miscellanea chapter 1 . 5/18/2008
Really finished piece, great work. I especially love the repetition of foot, calf, thigh/thigh, calf, foot, and how they're in different contexts. You captured a meeting very well, how the speaker sees the person she re-meets in a different light. Your choice of words moved the poem along at a nice pace.
Billie.Joelle chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
Review Game!

I really liked this one. It flowed really well, and I loved the way you portrayed the two people, with both their appearances and their feelings. It is very well written, and flows really well. One can almost picture the two people speaking and kissing each other. Very good.

The only thing I would change, is that when you repeat the sequence of how his leg is appearing (which is amazing, by the way, I love how you tie it all in) you might want to keep it all the same. At the beginning you say "Foot, then calf, then thigh." But at the end you say "Thigh. Calf. Foot" maybe changing that would add to the flow. just an idea.

wonderful poem. good job!

BJ
Misstress Nicole chapter 1 . 4/22/2008
I loved this one. It's flows and brings a smile to your face. You can feel relief, lust and faith in this work. I love that the beginning lines and the last lines are in reversed sequence.

It might sound a tad better if you used the word upon in place of on in '...nor acted on'. I just thought I'd mention it as it's how I read it the first time through.
Untitled and Unfinished chapter 1 . 4/15/2008
That's cute. I like how it have the sequence! Very good, I would suggest breaking up the stanzas a bit...they can get sort of long! Good Job
iloveanimecartoons NLI chapter 1 . 4/12/2008
Review Game-Poems: Short Fix

Wow. Awesome. Fantastic. Beautiful. Searching. Truthful. Wholly warming. Goosebumps. Pleasant memories resurfacing. Just in love...with this poem! New. Fav!