Reviews for Dreaming by the Sea
amedartyst chapter 1 . 8/16/2015
Breathtaking.
RipplingEbbulience chapter 1 . 2/16/2010
Very deep and provoking.

Keep writing.

-Rippling Ebbulience
Mirabella chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
Very beautiful!

I love your way of writing and the language and rhyming you use. :)

Brilliant little story within. :) 5 stars!
Katie Nicole chapter 1 . 8/2/2008
This is so beautiful! The imagery is amazing, the rhyming is perfect, and it's so nostalgic and wonderful!

Excellent work. You have a flair for writing. You described everything so beautifully.

I'm at a loss for words :D

Katie
toadshade chapter 1 . 7/29/2008
I've always had a fondness for stories about selkies, mermaids, and the rest of the sea maids. This poem reminds me of a folk song, and would sound excellent accompanied by a guitar.
Lady Isabella De Luca chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
First off i apologize before hand if this particular criticism is just a product of my utter distaste for rhyme scheme, but at times i felt that the rhyme had a slight sing-sony feel. Intitially the rhyme seemed natural but that was inconsistent through out the poem. I loved jewel-seas and shadow mountains, very original and fresh descriptions.

I thought the introduction of some progresive verbs might add another layer stylistically, however it may be just a matter of more personal taste. For example

"[Singing] of things you promised me."

"Warm winds [sweeping] through our flying hair." (i assumed wept was a typo for swept)

"And winter winds her bitter screams" there must be a typo here because this doesn't make sense

"In sleep bright sunlight graced the shore" I would add a comma after sleep

I love the last line, the idea of him just leaving her there with all of his promises. Very poignant.
NovemberLily chapter 1 . 6/14/2008
this is such an amazing piece of poetry. the flow, the rhythm, the imagery (especially the imagery, it's so ethereal and nostalgic) is all perfect. nothing is overdone, which tends to be a problem when you have good imagery (at least for me) great job!
Thenardier chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
May all your journeys lead you far

Beneath sun’s eye or Northern star

Where restless waters flicker gold –

But I will keep the things you told.

A wonderful ending. Indeed, I felt that I was dreaming by the sea.
lymli chapter 1 . 6/12/2008
You spoke of lands I never knew

Of plains where shadow-mountains grew

And fields where hoary star-sleeves swelled –

Of winding hills where fair-folk dwelled.

that's my favorite part, I find romantic this.
scribblemuse chapter 1 . 5/29/2008
Aiya Tranquil Thorns. Thanks for your review!

I love this piece. The lilting rhythm, the almost Anglo-Saxon influence ('long-ships', the kennings and all that lovely alliteration) quite capture a seamaid's song. The images are soft and yet constant, like waves...beautiful. Keep writing.

scribblemuse
Bavand chapter 1 . 5/28/2008
Wow... ditto to all the above!

Julie
Through Glass Eyes chapter 1 . 5/25/2008
STUNNING! The imagery was great and I don't think I could ever find poems like yours anywhere else. Amazing.
miscellanea chapter 1 . 5/20/2008
This is crazy amazing. Your imagery and just everything is so perfect.
xLittleBlackConverse chapter 1 . 5/8/2008
This poem is amazing. The way you've expressed your thoughts or ideas or whatevever in the form of poetry is very unique. The way you've written is a little bit old-fashioned but thats what makes it more endearing and original. I love it
Chidori Nadare chapter 1 . 4/30/2008
It's so pretty and child-like. It's a breath of fresh air after reading a lot of angst poems in this site. It feels so innocent, fairy-tale like, nostalgic, etc. Great job.

-C.N
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