Reviews for twelve
stars shine out chapter 1 . 1/23/2013
EllieTheTwilightHater chapter 12 . 8/22/2010
Wow. I have nothing else to say. This collection is simply amazing, and your imagery weaved with emotion really tugs at my heart. You poems are always beautiful and inspirational. Keep writing!
Ondine's Curse chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
this is such a bright piece, imagery-wise.

i especially like the "italian ice kisses" and "stolen ice-cream truck".

and also the line

"spill lemonade in rivulets down our sweat-sweet backs."

i want summer back.
Laurelin Keviniel chapter 12 . 9/7/2009
I love this. Out of the collection, this is by far my favorite. The imagery is superb. My absolute favorite part is:

"now, clutching hands and hips and hearts,

she and I, we spin ourselves dizzy

in some neon corner of the urban cosmos.

and in her radiant curls and flaming hands,

I have found a blazing reality

more beautiful than your ephemeral illusion."

I feel like I'm there, basking in the glow of your euphoria. I am really, truly happy for you.
theinfinitebee chapter 12 . 9/7/2009
Here's a review for you, and I hope you respond to it sooner rather than later. One of the first things I wondered was how long you took to write this (from start to finish, not just thinking about it) because it's so damn amazing.

i. In the first two lines, I like "Of prisms, not prisons", which seems to me to relate back to your previous poem. Very clever. I also love the imagery of "the electric kaleidoscope of december's northern lights…"

ii. I love everything about this from "face of a madonna" onward. The first line and a half doesn't stand out to me as marvelously as the others do, but the rest more than make up for it. (By the way, it doesn't mean it's bad, it's just not as marvelous as the rest.) I especially like, "but lips, apple-sweet and wicked like Eve's" - god is that brilliant. Absolutely lovely.

i. " now, clutching hands and hips and hearts,

she and I, we spin ourselves dizzy" is pretty close to magnificence in the picture that it paints. The "She and I" really stand out, which is good. I like it a lot (and not only because I'm biased - but because it makes the point clear). "radiant curls and flaming hands" gives an image/feeling that I know all too well.

iv. It reminds me of something you'd read in a book, or see in a movie, but better…it's so painfully gorgeous and realistic.

This poem is beautiful. It sounds almost like a song, too poetic to find words to describe. It hits home, describes something that most people know all too well, but with a twist. I love how it signifies beginnings and ends, starting over and self-acceptance. Looking back on the previous poems, it's obvious that you've grown not only as a writer and poet, but as yourself as well, especially considering the agony some of these put you through. Congratulations on finally finishing Twelve, and for the rest. You did well, very well.

Good luck.

kate chapter 11 . 9/6/2009
This is really nice, I like this alot!

cant wait to see the last one! I like all of them! Keep writing!
tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 7/9/2009
I love the way you use words. It's so different and beautiful.
young and the reckless chapter 2 . 5/26/2009
the fourth stanza, if you will, is lovely. just lovely.
Nemonus chapter 11 . 12/23/2008
The enchanted one awakening "unkissed" is a beautiful, surreal image.
AmorphousHeart chapter 1 . 12/22/2008
Oh, wow. I don't even know what to say to this, it's so amazing. I keep reading this over and over again and I still can't get past how wonderful this is.
fairytale failure chapter 11 . 12/21/2008
I love the fairytale theme woven throughout, of course. This has to be one of my favourite pieces in the collection. The references to Sleeping Beauty all fit in really well, and you did a good job of showing that fairytale is NOT real life. My favourite lines were "she finally woke up, unkissed-" and "the enchantment of your body broken". For some reason, this reminds me of the song A Stone by Okkervil River. There's one slightly sad thing about this piece though..there's only one more left in the collection! (
theinfinitebee chapter 11 . 12/20/2008
Yay, poem!


The first time I read this, it reminded me very much of TSFT for some reason...probably the castle walls/crumbling stones and overall theme of this just really reminded me of the realms. I doubt you intended that, but I like it.

i. "once upon a fall" I really like because it's so different. I mean, I expected when I started reading it "time" and it threw me off. and instead of "gold threads..." I would use "golden threads" just sounds better to me.

"of castle walls whose crumbling stones/still sung your name" is a marvelous just fits so well.

ii. "her eyes wild as briars" perfection in five words. I can picture this really, really well, Julia.

"a spindle in the darkness" seems slightly out of place though, with this. I don't know what I would do to fix it, but that line seems like it fits with the poem, but not the stanza.

i. "the enchantment of your body broken" - god, I KNOW this.

I absolutely LOVE how triumphant and determined it is at the end. It ties it together so perfectly.

Favourite line would either be "the enchantment of your body broken" or "and she could live it without you."
savor those enticing dreams chapter 10 . 12/16/2008
I read all 10 chapters, and I must say, I really like this work. It's creative and extremely well written. A definite favorite.
october lies chapter 10 . 9/6/2008
i take back what i said in my previous review - may is now the favorite

"there's a mad woman with my green eyes" is so expressive.

and the end is perfect "like the scorched petals of poppies

spelling out your name."

this is just amazing
theinfinitebee chapter 10 . 9/4/2008
(Remind me again why do I always end up doing this at an obscene hour?)

Well, you definitely don't sound like you are an aspiring drug addict, that's for sure.

"there's a mad woman with my green eyes" is a great image and, don't kill me for saying this, but reminds me of Plath's "Mad girl's love song." If that's what you were going for, it worked. If not, it worked brilliantly anyway.

the following three lines seem a lot like you're trying to get over this man. I love the images, particularly the one of you tossing ashes into the air. I can practically see you doing that.

I like the third stanza a lot, particularly "ink-stained pipe"

"curtain of fire" is a great image.

and as always, the ending is great. wonderful job. :)

it sounds like you've succeeded better than ever in your attempts to get over this I right?
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