|Reviews for pink hands|
| Mirabella chapter 1 . 12/1/2009
Lovely flow, and i like how you stick to topic and meaning. Brilliantly told. :)
| tonight we bloom chapter 1 . 8/4/2009
Definitely my favorite of yours. Everything about this piece was just so perfect. Wonderful rhythm, gorgeous descriptions, meaning.
I like the tone of "pink hands"
and the third stanza "a see-through peel, like fruit tossed to the sea-foam" was just stunning. I love the "see-through" and "sea-foam" bit.
My favorite, would be "my new eyes ripen to the ocean." That is so creative and fresh, and I love the ocean waves "hello" too. Clever!
Really really good poem, I'm adding it to my favorites.
| eville chapter 1 . 4/30/2008
not sure how i missed this one when i reviewd your newest yesterday, but i really like this.
| One-Hand Clap chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
One thing I liked about this poem was how you likened your eyes to fruit. 'me eyes ripen' - it's a very interesting phrase, that one. It kinda sticks with me. So it's very odd imagery... but in a good way, ayuh.
However I thought this line:
'but I never want to die again'
Was somewhat clumsy - I don't know how you could change it about, but it seemed kinda out of place in an otherwise surrealistic poem. It would've been good if you compared it to your fruit analogy again, ie:
'but I never want to rot again'
I don't know, these are just my mediocre two cents!
- Clap Trap, from Review marathon [link in profile]
| Tranquil Thorns chapter 1 . 4/16/2008
So pretty and childlike.
In a way the general tone reminds me of regression, especially around the line 'but I never want to die again'. It seems as though the narrator retreats to a younger state to try to shield him/her self.
You can blame psychology class on that one. P
Anywho, beautiful work.