Reviews for Asthma
Scared Loveless chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
I like how you choose something unique to write about. It almost seemed rushed, as if you are chocking on your words, fighting them to come out. Try making it sound more natural, more free.
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
Reviewing for the Review Game's Review Marathon! (link in profile)

Oh my god! That sounds really bad! I'm glad you're okay!

I have asthma, but no where near as bad as yours. I have had my share of middle-of-the-night ER visits, though. I think you described it well. I like how you used either one or two words in every line. It kind of recreated the simple, frantic thoughts you have while having an attack. I wish the end could have had more, though. Still, very well-written.
Tranquil Thorns chapter 1 . 4/19/2008
Sounds like a very scary thing to experience. X

I like the way this poem is formed through short, frantic lines. It makes the scariness of the situation that much more clear.