| Reviews for Celestial of the Night |
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   acapella33 chapter 3 . 4/23/2008 Wow that was fast :] I hate that DJ had to die :'( He was already growing on me. It was probably important to the plot though. "It was a vampire, a for real living vampire." This sentence annoyed me a bit. How about, "It was a vamprie, a living vampire." "Fangs Vampire." This didn't make sense. Did you mean "Vampire fangs"? Other than that OH MY GOD. She's a vampire! Nice little cliffhanger... ] |
| iloveme5895 chapter 2 . 4/22/2008 wow this shit is really good im like so hoocked to it already i cant wait 4 another chapter *~ashley~* |
| acapella33 chapter 2 . 4/21/2008 OH MY GOD! Was Mallory her mom? Don't tell me. I didn't catch any mistakes in this one, except for in one part that it read were wolves and it should be werewolves. Updates are fabulous. :] |
| acapella33 chapter 1 . 4/21/2008 I'm going to be reviweing this story as I read, so please bare with the weirdness. "She franticly..." frantically In the first paragraph, you also used the word murky a coupe times so it gets repetitive. "knowing that her pursuers would not long realize the path she’d taken..." would not take long to realize... Other than those little typos, this story definetly has a lot of potential. I really like your style of writing, it's very descriptive but it doesn't bore you. On too read more :] |
| tffny012 chapter 2 . 4/20/2008 i love how she never looks away from damien's stare! but it's so sad that DJ had to die. Update again soon! |
| Divine Macabre chapter 1 . 4/20/2008 Intruiging start. And very well written. Your summary has me curious why Celeste is at the center of a vampire war. One minor thing with the second paragraph, "Soon they would realize she braved..." and "It was a fact that she would brave..." Usually writers try to avoid using the same word so close together. Not too important, but I thought I'd point it out. Anyway, can't wait to see where this goes. ~Divine Macabre |
| Kikto-chan chapter 1 . 4/20/2008 You might want to have break marks when a new scene is there, because it's hard to know when there are different people talking, or if the scene changed. otherwise nice storyline. |
| tffny012 chapter 1 . 4/20/2008 i really like your story and it is very well written! The only thing i would do to change it, is when you change the scene of the chapter put a space, or draw a line or something. While I was reading the story i was getting confused about what was happening during the transitions. THanks! Can't wait for the next chapter! |
| betC chapter 1 . 4/19/2008 this is a very interesting story! got me so curious on whats gonna happen next! I haven't read any stories from fictionpress for a long While now. I really hope you continue... |