Reviews for God
miss-ellen chapter 1 . 8/28/2009
Wow... This is really good. Very touching. God is so awesome
thewriterofdoom chapter 1 . 8/27/2009 deep. I'm an agnostic and somehow this poem makes me feel that I'm missing something. I don't understand. It's like the words paint a picture beyond what I can see. Oh great, now I'm being a poet too now. Anyway, beautiful work.
Eboniccinderella chapter 1 . 12/27/2008
Well first and foremost I would like to say thank you for all your reviews!

Secondly, I would like to say that I like this poem for various reasons. The first is the acknowledgment that the trinity existed from the very beginning. Secondly i like the last line of the first stanza very much. God did intend for his creation to be perfect and eternal and yet it was corrupted. But, my favorite line before is the final line! Wonderful and very poetic.
Sarkany chapter 1 . 9/27/2008
Ah, but you appear to be missing a very important point here:

What you describe as God's helpless ("powerless") moment is actually his and Jesus Christ's (well, they are the same) moment of ultimate victory against God's biggest enemies, sin and death. According to the bible, God willed it so that Jesus be sacrificed so that our - human's - sins were forgiven.

In sacrificing his son, God shows his love for the humans; in sacrificing himself, Jesus shows his love for humanity.

John 3:16 reads as such: "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have elverlasting life."

Romans 5:8 - "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

1 John 3:8 - "The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the devil's work." Victory - won on the cross.

Here: Colossians 1:20 - "Through the Son, God also reconciled all things to himself, whether things on earth or things in heaven, thereby making peace through the blood of his cross."

Hebrews 2:9 - "But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone."

And finally: John 10:18 - [Jesus says:]"No one is taking it from me; I lay it down of my own free will. I have the authority to lay it down, and I have the authority to take it back again. This is what my Father has commanded me."

Do you see? It was God's will that Jesus die to release people of their sins. It was his plan. There would be no reason for him to feel powerless in the face of it. Jesus has not been disgraced through being crucified (even though, of course, he was executed as a criminal would have been), he has been glorified.
asylum writer chapter 1 . 9/2/2008
Review Marathon prize!

I was kind of worried when I realized that this was from God's point of view. It worked, though. You made it believable, which has got to be hard with this kind of piece.

My favorite line is the last one. It shows this amazing forgiveness and unconditional love. Expressing that level of tolerance is great.

Congratulations on the RM!
Princess-anna57 chapter 1 . 6/8/2008
Oh my goodness, this is an unbelievable poem! It's so well written and the ending is just fantastic and perfect. What can I say? I have no criticism and please post some more! I hope you're doing well. :) Keep writing!

~Anna~ _
radioactive stanica chapter 1 . 5/22/2008
This is too beautiful!
Isca chapter 1 . 5/13/2008
Amazing! "I still listen as the hypocrite prays."
theflyingcrabsareeatingmyhair chapter 1 . 5/1/2008
You are a beautiful, amazing, darling person for all the review love you spread with the marathon! Keep up the amazing work.

For some reason, I felt like reviewing a poem when I came to your page - and I'm so glad that I picked this one. Excellent job. Imagery is great, you avoided the serious cliches, by my book (anything involving God and Christ is going to be cliche, but the way you describe it is both fitting for this poem and comparatively fresh in my view), you don't overly describe anything, which I mention only because I personally do it constantly... andd the ending stanza is spectacular. I think that's a great aspect of this. Beginnings always have to be good, but in the really good pieces, the ending will be even better. Yours does that with the incredibly strong message you get across with your ending.

I know how it feels to write a piece and have no idea where it came from, because I do that pretty often. The biggest thing I've noted about these types of pieces is that I'm usually incapable of editing them. Still, if you're up for it, there are two lines in the second stanza that I think are weak due to their overly evident cliches and simpler language: "I cannot watch my perfect son becoming sin" (too much like you took it straight out of the book), and "My only hope is that soon you'll be with me again" (the simple, uncomplicated and less powerful expression of something rather flimsy, like hope - not flimsy in our hands, perhaps, but it seems flimsy to me in those of God - is distinctly at odds with the rest of the piece).

Very nice work.
The.Wizard.Pen.Dragon chapter 1 . 4/30/2008
This is one of those reminders about how God has had to love us SO unconditionally for so long and yet he still does! I'm glad you wrote it!

Write on!

Cardboard Tube Knight chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
I had to read it more than one time to get it, I think because I was confused or just tried in general. But after reading it, wow its really powerful, well thought out and a subject I've never seen put into poem. It's simple in its execution but at the same time complex and I think that's what serves it best. You don't waste time trying to be flowery and impress someone, you write. And that's best way to be.
graywolf-X chapter 1 . 4/21/2008
I must commend you for handling such grand sentiments and translating them into verse. Putting on the "God perspective" takes a lot of guts, and is easy to trivialize and reduce to projection. I for one would never dare undertake such an endeavor. By keeping it simple, you've managed to avoid the trivial.

In terms of technique, your use and mastery of words is quite evident. I suggest you try to be more conscious of the meter. The first four lines, for example, are heptet, octet, octet, sestet. If you have a more consistent meter, your poetry will sing. Its harder to do, but it'll be worth it.

In terms of ideas, my only quibbles are, first, with line 6, due to the theological implication that the Son of God became sin, which cannot be so. (After all, isn't he called Lamb of God as tribute to his lack of sin?) The second is the word "hypocrite". A hypocrite is often mistaken to be a person whose actions fall short of beliefs. In that case, we are all hypocrites. True hypocrisy is actually espousing something you don't believe in. Due to the nuance of your final two lines, I believe "sinner" is a better word.

Other than that, excellent work. :)
Sarah Giles chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
Lovely, lovely poem. I'm so sorry I hadn't noticed before that you were, to quote you, "in love with God". I am too... )
Misstress Nicole chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
I've read a few of you poems and found that I like this one. It has a meaning behind it that can't be missed. It's clear and well written. I like the last line most. From experience most people who preach the word of God commit the same sins they condemn.
Professional Dreamer chapter 1 . 4/20/2008
Uncomfortably true. And a wonderfully used rhythm and rhyming scheme. Love that last line: "Though he refuses to hear me, I still listen as the hypocrite prays."
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