|Reviews for Fine Line: Essence of Maturity|
| Murphy's Lawyer chapter 4 . 6/24/2008
AHA! I'm not the only one who dips French fries in my frosty! I knew it!
My family finds it disgusting, you see.
Nicely done, Qzie. Benny and Fiona are so cute.
Now, I have some seriously edited Fine Line to read...
| JadeRoach chapter 4 . 5/26/2008
Hug are always free! XD Love the update!
| IdeasInTheAir chapter 4 . 5/25/2008
Ha, I loved this! My favourtie! It was amazing! I love it I love it I love it!AH!
Now imagine me gushing for about an hour and a half about how awesomeley amazing this was, and that's pretty much how much I loved it. I'm going to see that website.
A Tonka truck of smiles!
| CaveDwellers chapter 4 . 5/21/2008
Haha! That first scene, I could've sworn that they were talking about something totally different, but then I said to myself "oh no, it's Qzie. She wouldn't do anything like that." And I was right. Makes me feel good inside. (and I think that what he was muttering about at the end was something like a marriage proposal; just some speculation for your enjoyment.)
But Free Hugs. Nice. I saw the video on YouTube with the Japanese chick. That was gorgeous-especially because touching really isn't something people in the Japanese culture do. I'm frankly having a bit of a hard time imagining Benny doing something like that, though.
"...it had been a couple years (they were juniors at the University of Illinois at the time)"
This bit confused me. Does this mean that they WERE juniors at the uni, or they are now?
"Leah and Caomhe, the only two girls who lived in the apartment since Celia had long moved out since she was married to Joeri (they even had a little girl, Marie)..."
Very long, needlessly confusing sentence. I'm not saying that you can break it up into shorter sentences, because you can't, but it's a drag-on. It could be so much more interesting than that. Some restructuring is advised.
"...(none of the girls had quite gotten out of that “poor, starving college kid” phase)"
Couple of things. One, that made me laugh and wonder if that comment had anything to do with your own experiences (you don't actually have to answer that XD). Two, I'm not quite sure why you quoted it, why you thought it needed to have anything done to it. I think that it would be just fine without it. Not like anybody would feel confused about what you're talking about, (which is mainly why the quoting trend started in the first place, I think.)
And I knew it! I knew it was a proposal he was talking about! I'm proud of myself again.
Still not quite sure how Benny managed to pull together that many people, but hey, it was a cool effect (kinda wondering how Fiona never saw it coming, either, but that's just me). Kind of reminds me of the a capella (is that how that's written? o.O) group that came upon two guys practice-sparring in a park and started singing the Mortal Combat theme song. the guys tarted showing off and everything. It was great.
Anyhow, it's great hearing from you again. I should probably do that one day. Hm...
| Stella Celestial chapter 4 . 5/21/2008
that is hilarious and loved that and the girl the with phone is right I am jealous of Fiona. but then again only a girl or a romantic guy can come up with that awesome stuff. wish my boy friend would do comething like that. :)
| Murphy's Lawyer chapter 3 . 5/8/2008
Can't I have both? *grins*
This is so cute. I'm enjoying these.
And now, I have other stories to read, and stories of my own to update...
| Murphy's Lawyer chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
AW Qzie that was awesome! lol I have to go finish Fine Line now, just remembered.. can't wait for the sequel to be up! -
Thanks for the Bugles! *munches*
| CaveDwellers chapter 3 . 4/27/2008
Ah! Evie's so cute! And Keiran's so dysfunctional! It's a fabulous relationship!
And you know, something I've noticed with parents-my own and some close friends' in particular-is that when children are present, they don't use first names. And if they're talking to each other directly they just use you. I swear I didn't know what their real names were until I was in something like late first, early second grade. They've become lax about it as we've grown older, but they still don't call each other by their first names very much while we're around. So would Caomhe and Keiran follow those rules too or would they just keep doing what they're doing?
Just an observation.
The end was a little corny ("You're mean." "But you love me" "darn. You're right") but other than that it was great. Still like the Can We Get Married Yet drabble the best so far, though.
| CaveDwellers chapter 2 . 4/27/2008
Hahahaha! You know what? I like this drabble way more than the Bugles one. They're just so cute-and Caomhe's practically the man in the relationship, which just makes everything all the better. No one particular thing, though-I'm just loving this drabble.
"Do you at least have the ring?" "Uh... give me twenty minutes!"
Priceless, man. Keiran's so hopeless. XD
Really loving the letter Keiran sent to Simon Cowell in the end, though. Totally ruined the cuteness of the proposal scene, but it cracked me up.
And I really can't think of anything else to say here, so yeah. Next .
| CaveDwellers chapter 1 . 4/27/2008
Hey, I didn't even know this was up here. Fabulousness.
Dude, I can't even remember the last time I had Bugles. You wouldn't believe how scarce those things are in Hawaii. Keiran's so great and melodramatic, it's wonderful.
And I cannot tell you how strange that dream of his was.
And I was going to ask just where in the timeline this was, but you mentioned something about Caomhe and Keiran being together, so I'm not going to ask anymore. As a future reference, however, what would help is to put a This Many Years After Fine Line note at the beginning of the chapter or something, just so people don't get confused like me.
"“Don’t care. You’re squishy and comfortable.”"
Wait. So she's calling him fat and he didn't even take offense? Wow
And I can see why you like this drabble so much. Keiran like that must've been quite entertaining to write.
Next chapter .
| IdeasInTheAir chapter 3 . 4/25/2008
Ha, I love this. Keiran is a slightly frightening father.
I love the oneshots, they are very happy-making after Fine Line finished. Please keep them coming!
Smiles the size of a large elephant!)
| IdeasInTheAir chapter 2 . 4/25/2008
I'm glad we got to see the proposal scene, I loved it! Onward, to chapter three!
A smile way bigger than a pocket calculator!
| IdeasInTheAir chapter 1 . 4/25/2008
Wow, only Keiran. Love the story, love the new title, love the Bugles! thoguh I must say only marshamllows and cookies would make me write a song.
)))))/5 on the Smile Meter!
| brilliantfusion chapter 3 . 4/24/2008
i love keiran's relationship w/ Evie. so cute.
i've never reviewed before but i've been reading since about the middle of fine line :D
keep it up