Reviews for The Attack
sapphirekrystal08 chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
omg dats so sad ! i'm glad u made it through ! :)
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
Thanks for PMing me about this!

Wow, that sounds like a very traumatic experience. I'm really glad my asthma's not that bad. I'm glad you managed to get out of that situation; I'm sure there're others who've had similar experiences who weren't as lucky. I feel weird critiqueing this since it was such a horrible and real experience for you, but I'll try...

It's really amazing that you were able to write such a long poem about this, particularly a rhyming one. I'm glad you put in the rhyme, because otherwise people might have lost interest after a while. The rhyming really kept it moving. There were some times that the rhyme seemed too forced, though. I{n many cases you made the lines much longer than the rest to make it rhyme. I guess that's just a necessary sacrifice when rhyming, but it did throw off the flow a bit. It also would have been nice if you included some poetic devices such as metaphores and aliteration. It did turn out to be a very nice poem, though. It's good practice as a writer that you can take an experience like this and communicate it to others through writing. Great job! Keep up the good work!