|Reviews for Rhyming|
| Imalefty chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
straight from the review marathon! (link in profile)
hahaha, this is a nice way to defeat writer's block. writing about it. XD (i did that once. it was quite effective)
yes, it did rhyme... though i thought some of it flowed weird and the rhymes didn't quite match up with the rhythm. but we all know how hard rhyming is, so... good job anyway! :)
good job fighting writer's block. keep writing! :)
| PoisndNarcissus chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
I hate writers block. Way to turn it around.
| aicilef chapter 1 . 4/23/2008
Normally, I'd suggest something like, "work on the flow and where your accents are in meter" ect, but because of your topic, obviously it seems redundant. Though I would suggest making the un-flow(?) more exaggerated, using your frustration to your advantage by purposely using hard syllables and words with hard t's and g's, ect. For example, (If I can be presumptuous for a sec) in the second line, you could say, "squatting square in my screen, staring hard straight at me." Notice the hard accents in squat and square, the t in stare and straight, while at the same time the repeated s's provide unity throughout the line.
Good job, good luck, and keep up the good work. Nice idea, fyi.