straight from the review marathon! (link in profile)

hahaha, this is a nice way to defeat writer's block. writing about it. XD (i did that once. it was quite effective)

yes, it did rhyme... though i thought some of it flowed weird and the rhymes didn't quite match up with the rhythm. but we all know how hard rhyming is, so... good job anyway! :)

good job fighting writer's block. keep writing! :)

-Lefty

I hate writers block. Way to turn it around.

Normally, I'd suggest something like, "work on the flow and where your accents are in meter" ect, but because of your topic, obviously it seems redundant. Though I would suggest making the un-flow(?) more exaggerated, using your frustration to your advantage by purposely using hard syllables and words with hard t's and g's, ect. For example, (If I can be presumptuous for a sec) in the second line, you could say, "squatting square in my screen, staring hard straight at me." Notice the hard accents in squat and square, the t in stare and straight, while at the same time the repeated s's provide unity throughout the line.

Good job, good luck, and keep up the good work. Nice idea, fyi.