|Reviews for 4184 Times the Person You'll Ever Be|
| Acie chapter 2 . 7/19/2018
Wow, so who's the second male lead here?
| Anon chapter 2 . 9/15/2013
Aaahhh I wanna know what happennsss this was good!
| 10ver chapter 2 . 1/3/2012
wow! i love ur story. u shud definently continue. I bet Gare got jealous of caleb :) And caleb is a bundle of adorableness :]
| Follow-The-Spiders chapter 2 . 6/13/2011
I like how your story is going so far. I also like the way in which you paid attention to the grammer aspect of it all. Good job.
Could you please update?
| MidnightRose123 chapter 2 . 7/27/2010
this is a great story
i love it
it is funny and please keep writing i cant wait for the next chapter
| Princess of Chocolate chapter 2 . 7/7/2010
I love socks, therefore I review.
First off, good grammar. Great grammar, really. It ticks me off when someone goes through the trouble of writing a story and then their grammar and punctuation and spelling all SUCK. I mean, respect your story before you expect others to respect it. Proper grammar, punctuation, and spelling is a must-have in the world of writing.
Okay, done with that spiel. I like the description, and the added bonus of having funny or sarcastic comments in there helps. You give not too much but not too little of the descriptions, but I think you need to work on your show-not-tell deal.
I mean, instead of telling us that, I dunno, Gareth was tall, show us that. Like you did. "Gareth was a six-footer, though we were only in our junior year, and many people admired his height." vs. "We could walk down the hallway at school and he'd never noticed the upturned faces, craning to see the top of his chestnut-brown head, who would look at his six-foot height with raw fear and admiration." I mean, you do very well with all that, but I'd suggest more detail from that side. Meaning, whatever detail is already in the story is shown, but you could add some more.
I really like it! Your character descriptions are pretty well shown. I definitely will be subscribing, since the plot line just seems funny. I can't really understand what they're doing in the mall, but it's always a good thing to leave somethings to mystery. Try to explain certain things quicker, though. Just a couple tips.
I think, overall, your story is awesome. Update soon!
| bonnienclyde chapter 2 . 6/18/2010
You should've seen my countenance form a frown when I realized there was no other chapters.
Prettyplease with cookies and fudge and everything good and pure in the world on top? -bats eyelashes innocently-
Please update! _
| the rational hedgehog chapter 2 . 6/17/2010
NOO! IT'S A CLIFFHANGER *has small spasm*
I really like this story, and I think Gare likes Julie~ w GOSH THIS STORY IS SO CUTE. Please update soon!
| Lola chapter 1 . 1/10/2010
Wow, the sense of superiority with which Julie narrates this, and with which both Julie and Gare carry out their supercilious antics simply astounds me.
"We're smart and attractive, AND... whoodefuckingdoo we're not sluts! so we're going to try to go around and embarrass those who we think look like potential sluts!"
I can't decide what's worse-J and G's sense of moral superiority, physical superiority, or intellectual superiority. In any case, by all three counts they lose. (Esp. w/ intellectual... their conversation didn't sound witty or funny or filled with inside jokes. It sounded more stupid and "wannabe" and painfully contrived than anything you could have imagined up for the girl in the tight tee and miniskirt.)
I know, I know, we're supposed to lighten up, and this is a comedy. Only problem is, it's not funny. And not only because of the problems mentioned above... just because it's simply not funny.
Think of an effective story and put some snap into the dialogue. If the content weren't so offensive I wouldn't have bothered to review-because otherwise it's just yawns.
| Chubby Bunny chapter 2 . 12/30/2009
Can ye pur-lease update? Tis an awesome story and I love it. XD
| kkobsessed chapter 2 . 12/8/2009
PLEASE UPDATE SOON! This is extremely cute. I can't wait for the rest!
| Auphora chapter 2 . 11/27/2009
I'm guessing that the driver of the blue car is the one and only
The pick-up lines from the first chapter made me smile. I need to share them with my friends.
Fingers crossed for an update,
Wishing you the best,
| flunkybubbleshorts chapter 2 . 11/5/2009
Hey.. the story seems nice.. you write pretty well..
any hopes of an update? :)
| idunlikeyou chapter 2 . 7/10/2009
wow... this story made my laugh so hard. would i love to be julie? YES! gare seems so interesting to hang out with. hahaha.
| Mithee chapter 2 . 7/2/2009
Oh~ I really like it