Reviews for Chasing Memories
CryingCicada chapter 32 . 12/18/2010
You can do it, come on, so what if it's been more than a year? write it then post it.
Lumaris chapter 22 . 7/18/2010
After several failed attempts at finishing this chapter, I've finally finished it _

What can I say that I haven't said before? XD I absolutely love the characters and your descriptions are vivid without being too descriptive. You're really talented. Keep it up! :]
Lumaris chapter 21 . 11/29/2009
Sque~

Why I never read more of this delightful story in so long will remain a mystery.

Regardless, I very much enjoyed this chapter; I absolutely love how real the characters interact with the environment. The imagery is spectacular as always!

There were only a few things I'd like to mention. Although I didn't notice any errors (that or I wasn't looking hard lol!) but I noticed a couple details that felt rushed, and could have been expanded on.

For example, in the next-to-last paragraph, I think you could have broken the second sentence into two

Ex:

"...They both watched as Sam set Leara down and was promptly smacked on the side of his head then she was chased down the docks past Andre and onto the beach."

into:

"...They both watched as Sam set Leara down. The girl promptly smacked the ex-assassin upside the head, earning a pursuit down the docks and past Andre."

I believe that might set the mood a little better (and transition), as well as slows the pacing. You could (if you wanted) even include some sense-provoking details to add to the environment. I noticed that you use the word "then" sometimes in long sentences to connect the actions; I suggest omitting the word, and separating the sentences in its place. You don't have to, but I think that long-winded sentences tend to sound rushed. Sorry if it sounds nitpicky _;;

Overall, excellent chapter! I enjoyed it and I'm going to try and read a chapter a day (or every other day, depends on how busy I am, but-) I'm only 10 chapters away from being caught up. Yay~ *does the happy dance*

Can't wait to read more!

-Yukimi

P.S. I got my sister interested in this as well. :D She recently asked me about it, where she could go to read it. _
Lumaris chapter 20 . 8/13/2009
Another awesome chapter _

Poor Shay though / I do smell a bit of foreshadowing with the book. ;)

There were a few errors though - nothing huge, but noticeable. There was a lack of possessive apostrophes, if I termed that correct o_O As in, "the girls hand" instead of "the girl's hand." Rereading through this may help you catch them - they were quite little things. ; Just thought I'd point them out for when you edit this later, if it's helpful.

Anyway, can't wait to read more~ The story's getting really interesting. I hope no one dies though. D:
Lumaris chapter 19 . 8/6/2009
Love, love, love this - as usual. _ Felix's protectiveness over Leara is just awesome. Even though Sam had little appearance, his bit here was still cute. XD Shay...now, that Shay just worries me. I'm concerned what he was thinking... If he commits - or attempts - suicide, I'll resurrect him and kill him myself. Gah. I love them overall though. And this chapter. Just awesome.

There were a few errors, but the ones that caught my attention most were a couple "to" when it should've been "too" - and "read-head" - I think that's all I noticed. That aside, awesome!

Looking forward to reading more!
Lumaris chapter 18 . 8/2/2009
It all makes sense, really. I loved this! And the twist with Shay being Leara's brother was great! I don't think it'd have worked any other way. _ Although, I'm finding myself increasingly worried and sad for Felix... I do hope they can cure him somehow. D:

Great chapter! I really enjoyed it _
Lumaris chapter 17 . 8/2/2009
OMG OMG

ASHAYUS IS HER BROTHER?

Is that right? o.O I think it is.

Maybe.

Omg.

MUST READ MORE. (sorry for the explosion of excitement. xD)
Lumaris chapter 16 . 7/26/2009
Oh my gosh.

The way you've built the story thus far, and the relationship with Leara and Ashayus, made that apology PERFECT. So perfect that I started to cry. Lol, and I don't cry easily! It was so touching, you haven't an idea how perfect that was! And Felix - I love him to pieces now (I really hope his illness can be cured D: ). I love Ashayus, Leara, Sam too. Gah! You're a fantastic writer, and this chapter DEFINITELY didn't "slip" as you said it did in the footnote. Nope. Perfect. As per usual.

There was just one thing that seemed misplaced here, Sam said "Jesus" - I could be wrong, but I just thought I heard a lot of mentions about "gods" that it didn't seem to fit. I hope that's not offensive at all D: that's all really, I think. It's just what stuck out most to me.

Dang, now I have the sniffles. XD

I'll try to read another chapter today. _
Lumaris chapter 15 . 7/24/2009
omg..

Just..

Whoa. x_x

I loved this chapter - it's got to be one of my favorites. And I love Felix! He's so freaking cool. xD

Of course, that bit with Sam fishing was hilarious. XD

Sam really is sweet _
Lumaris chapter 14 . 7/24/2009
Man why didn't I keep up with the updates so many months ago? Felix is AWESOME. I love him to death :D And what a cliffie XD

Another great chapter! _
Lumaris chapter 13 . 7/24/2009
Another great chapter _

Though I still wonder about how the abyss Ashayus ended up in the sea...baffles me. Only one way to find out I suppose. :D

P.S. I love all your characters. They're so real. _
Lumaris chapter 12 . 7/24/2009
I wonder if that's a little romance I smell between Leara and Sam? Hm? _~ This was a great chapter, and now I'm wondering what happened to Shay D: Must read more! :]

Just a tip though; I've noticed you use "then" sometimes in place of "than" - it's probably overlooked or something, but just thought I'd point it out if it'd help. xD
Lumaris chapter 11 . 7/16/2009
Aww, this was really touching. I love Sam. He's so adorable :'D

And Leara's cool too.

Hooray for learning about Shay! (I still feel bad for him D: )

Anyway, I loved this chapter. Keep it up!
Lumaris chapter 10 . 7/12/2009
omg...

oh my gosh.

*wants to cry*

I love Ashayus for being so complex, and at the same time, I feel for him. You've outdone yourself with connecting reader-to-characters, Aiedial. You really have. T_T
KuroKage1717 chapter 32 . 3/30/2009
Hey hey! It's great to see that you are still living! Lol, a short chapter, but an enjoyable one nonetheless. Although the first paragraph or two seemed to need some grammer help... -.-

And don't worry about taking forever to update. Really. I'm sure we loyal readers understand life going insane at times.

I shall wait loyally for the next installment of Leara being freaked out by Shay, Felix glowering at Shay, and Sam and Leara making moony faces at each other. And not to mention...is Felix EVER going to stop glowering at Shay?
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