Reviews for Watch Out For That
kyrric.fictionpresspaperweight chapter 1 . 7/22/2008
Bahahahaha.

Girl in a Manhole. Sorry. It just sounds funny.

You're rather hilarious yourself, mind you.

I'm completely addicted to your style.

It's awesome.

And so are you. ]
loves him chapter 1 . 7/14/2008
Hmm, so I liked the 'life lesson' at the end and the situation that your narrator got stuck in (seriously, who DOES get stuck in a manhole?), but I wished that there would've been a more continuous flow between the two. Originally, I was expecting for your narrator to continue obsessing over her rescuer, but then out of seemingly nowhere, she goes into a soliloquoy about life. I suppose that I was just caught off guard because the first paragraph hadn't hinted anything about the ups and downs of life and it's usually the first paragraph that I look to in order to be informed about the story. If you had intended for the element of surprise, then your story is perfect the way it is. Otherwise, a sentence mentioning learning a lesson from manholes might be a good idea.
123456DoesNotExist chapter 1 . 7/2/2008
Hmm... I liked it

Catchy start, it got me interested only one line in. Your voice is good, very humorous and it keeps the story flowing without lingering too long.

Your descriptions are also really nice, I can really picture what's happening, as funny as it is.

Aw, your message at the end was very nice.

I really can't think of anything bad to say about it...

Very cute :)

~Me
AtlantisGirl12 chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
Haha :)

Very well-written! I can picture everything that's happening-you had excellent word choices. I love the end because it's so in character for the speaker (Was this a true story? It sounds like something that would happen to me!). She sounds like a true optimist...looking on the bright side (and finding a life lesson) even when her pride was injured.

The only thing I noticed was in this sentence: "'Ouch' wasmy second thought." Did you mean "was my"?

Anyway, excellent job! I really enjoyed this.
AlexSanguine chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
Nice. Manholes ARE evil. I hate them. This is a really cute story, and I kinda feel bad for the girl that fell. At least a guy came to help her!

Only error I found was this, "'Ouch' (wasmy) second thought." I think you meant to part "was" and "my". Also, maybe you should stick to one tense. You seemed to switch to past and present through out the story, mainly near the end. Or maybe you meant to do that...oh well, good job, though!
shadowcat86 chapter 1 . 4/29/2008
I think I'll avoid manholes from now on, too,

how can that happen?
Maplewing chapter 1 . 4/29/2008
Interesting idea, lol xD