|Reviews for Tearn|
| LolBookWorm chapter 15 . 4/6/2010
I hope Malachi will be okay. Amazing story, I could actually imagine the whole thing taking place as if watching a movie. Can't wait to see what happens with Danica's powers. Please update soon. -
| Rio's Desire chapter 4 . 9/7/2009
Crazyness! I must admit you are off to a fast start with the story, like it is all rushed, but I'm sure you know that, it has a good plot though.
| Rio's Desire chapter 2 . 9/6/2009
I love this! I am going to have to finish reading this later! I'll be so tired for work tomorrow! This was such an exciting chapter!
| bbyxhann chapter 15 . 6/9/2009
wow , this is really good .
sorry i didnt review any of the other chapters ,
since you did them a while ago .
but anyway , i really like this story .
please update it !
| Mayuka chapter 15 . 1/23/2009
Love this story! Wow, please update it soon. It's wonderful!
| Nannon chapter 11 . 6/18/2008
They killed her parents? That sucks! The similarities with Malachi just keep on coming, dont they? Love it, brilliant as usual! x
| a beginner chapter 10 . 6/17/2008
ok, im need an update and fast... hehe
| Selayn1666 chapter 2 . 6/1/2008
Action-packed chapter. So I imagine Malachi and Danica have some past together...or somehow something. And Davis and Malachi? I want to say they feel each other's pain and are connected somehow like that. Danica's a brave soul. Fighting off THREE intruders? That's intense. I hope that shows in later chapters as well.
| Selayn1666 chapter 1 . 6/1/2008
I really enjoy the dialogue and the natural feeling of the sleepover. I guess I'd like a greater description of the females...although I don't know if they play any strong part to the story yet and if greater descriptions will come later. Kept my attention so far considering the "girl in another world" story is far from uncommon. Onto the next
| Teffie chapter 1 . 5/30/2008
Interesting. I like the suspenseful note at the end. I didn't spot any grammar or spelling mistakes, so good job on that. I think if I were you, I would include less description of clothing, or maybe bring it into the conversation. Just so you don't say "(S)he wore such-and-such" every time you introduce a character. Overall, good work. I'll be back to read more later!
| Nannon chapter 5 . 5/9/2008
Malachi and Danica, sitting in a tree, KISSING ... lol this is so sweet, and it should be interesting how she gets on with the others once she wakes up...good work. xx
| Nannon chapter 3 . 5/1/2008
This is so far really good, please update more! xx
| Burning Frost chapter 2 . 4/30/2008
Okay, to the point you have a good beginning here, but that in itself is a problem. You only have a good beginning. To truly capture and hook readers, good doesn't cut it anymore. You need a great beginning, and also there really isn't much in the way of character developement, which, aside from the overall plot, is the most important part of any story. You already know who your characters are, so let us, the readers, learn. Let us like them, or let us dislike them, hell, let us fall in love with them. Considering that this is only the second chapter however, I could be jumping the gun, as you probably have character developement planned for later, but I just thought I'd voice my opinion.
Also read that you have the dreaded WBS, Writer's block syndrome. Worry not it happens to the best of us. Keep writing any ideas which come to you, as random as they may be, and soon enough you may be able to string together a coherent plot; it's always worked for me anyway.
| Nannon chapter 2 . 4/30/2008
Ooh this is good! Um...constructive criticism could be that you linger over descriptions a bit long, but it isn't detrimental to the story at all so I wouldn't worry about it too long. This is awesome, please keep updating quickly! Nannon xx