|Reviews for lets try friendship again|
| english summer rain chapter 1 . 7/6/2008
captured the mood beautifully. the sheer awkwardness, yet longing. word choice is a little clumsy here and there, but nothing drastic. i like your style, wonderful :)
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 5/21/2008
-lets is really let's unless you did that on purpose for some reason
-say our hi's and goodbye's all over again... it seemed odd hi's and goodbye's since one is slangish and shorter and the other isn't I felt like hi's and bye's or hello's and goodbye's might be a better pair
-Your punctuation was all over the place, but I'm guessing that was on purpose.
I like the format a lot.. it fits really well though that one line was kinda long. Other than that I really liked it. I also liked how there was some rhyming but not necessarily a rhyme scheme. I also liked the chatter not chitter thing that was a funny play on word. Really great job.
| Dominicus chapter 1 . 5/4/2008
This new style almost rhymes too well, it makes it somewhat distracting and a little difficult to actually concentrate on what the poem is trying to say. Not that that is a bad thing, as one probably shouldn't be trying to concentrate on the meaning. Anyways its a pretty abrupt style change but with some work, I think it will fit with you nicely.
| Randy chapter 1 . 5/4/2008
This new entry is a really awkward one for me to read. I can see that you've changed your style by using a lot of emphasis on single words, but thoughout the use of a new style, I feel like you've lost some of the good rhetoric I'm used to reading.
I feel that good poems have to have a few lines in it that are really striking. Something that makes me think, "Wow, I've never thought about it that way" or "Wow, I didn't know something could be described like that." Something profound.
I think you should continue to try various styles, but make sure your words stay colorful.
| Lenners chapter 1 . 5/2/2008
I really like this one out of all the ones I've reviewed so far (almost all of them..? x_o). The only part I felt did not fit in the poem:
from the eyes to the lips
because they lisp
It just bothers me that the ending words are just anagrams of each other and sound too similar (but perhaps it's on purpose?). Great job, otherwise