|Reviews for Thoughts of a Disturbed Boy|
| Anna The Pirate chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
I would first off like to say that you are a very skilled writer - if this single poem is anything to be compared to. I find your literal word-of-mouth way of writing, and you do it very well.
However, I have one problem with your subject matter. It would seem that you are writing about a little catholic boy with a cutting problem. It sounds rather like a run-of-the-mill emo-kid story. Though, taking the first line in to count, "It started as a cute little high school thing / Then elevated in to an angst ridden sting", it seems more so that you are poking fun at the idea of the run-of-the-mill emo-kid story.
Mildly confusing, to say the least.
I enjoy the rhyming and the timing of your writing.
Fix up a few of the grammarical mistakes, find a better title, and clarify the direction of your poem, and it would be a work of art.
| Justin Carlton chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
I don't do poetry, but your summary caught my eye.
It takes a bold man to curse out divinity, and at the same time as I admire the passion you exhibit, I have to disagree with your stance.
Beseeching the heavens, you ask: "Why punish us when you know that we are pure?"
The real question is, what is your definition of "pure", and what is your definition of "God"?
If you evalutate a supreme being entirely on human terms, what else is there but to conclude that he/she/it is nothing but a supernatural fantasy we've invented to assure ourselves that something exists after death. However, if we think of the very idea of God - a being who is supreme and beyond human capacity - he becomes so much more.
After all, what is the point of having a "human" God? What good does that do for us, if we are his equals?
The fact of the matter is that God is too lofty for us to understand, yet through Christ we can know him personally.
Take it or leave it, and keep writing.