Reviews for come on kids, we're burning daylight
young and the reckless chapter 1 . 5/9/2009
ah, this is so carefree and lovely

and the imagery is fantastic.
Laura Elizabeth chapter 1 . 5/6/2008
This is so beautiful! The imagery is terrific and it really reminds me of that don't fight the Mondays commercial with the music and the rising sun, without the actual commercial content of course ] Really great, just reading it made me smile. I just get this amazing image in my mind and it's actually quite difficult to describe in words.

"with laughter tattooed to my lips like sunrise

i finally feel alive."

Absolutely fantastic! You use literary devices vey well and they are what make this piece so great!

Really good, going in my favs.

-Laura
Scarlett Wynter chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
AWESOME! The imagery is so beautiful "midnight cracks with the breaking of dawn" LOVE IT

keep writing :)
McKinley Cooper chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
I write about night turning to day a lot-mainly because I don't want to see the night go. This is. I think midnight does crack because of dawn, and I hate it.

But I love your poetry, no matter how much you might hate it when someone says that.

My dad used to say, "We're trading daylight for dark." I always thought that was a good thing, but he needed the daylight to work. Funny memory... Poetry dredges up the bad and the beautiful-thank God.

McKinley
SEMMU chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
Very beautiful. I enjoy your word choice and unique structure. Normally, I enjoy helping others by revising; however, this piece is 100% your own and should stay that way. Very deliberate word choices and the structure of your stanzas make this piece worth reading.

Write on!
a silenced revolution chapter 1 . 5/5/2008
god, that's *beautiful*.

(just one thing; did you mean to switch tenses in the middles of the first two stanzas? it sounds kind of odd but not necessarily wrong.)

wonderful.