|Reviews for Obsidian|
| Huddled-In-The-Corner chapter 1 . 7/31/2008
I think you did a fabulous job. The emotional rage in the song really worked for it. I liked how it all kind of fit together. The only thing that I could say is that I think it would be better as a poem than I song, yet I bet the rhythm that would go with this song would be interesting.
| RedWheeler chapter 1 . 5/18/2008
Finally getting around to reviewing some stuff, although I don't know how much I'll get through. At least half of what you have uploaded recently, that's what I'm aiming for.
Anyway, I had to look up what Obsidian meant. Heh. It was one of those times where you swear you know the word (and I did XD) but you can't place it in your head. Just thought I'd bring that up, I don't know why I was doubting what I thought originally.
Didn't see any spelling or grammar errors. At least none that I saw when I was reading through, so if there are some... I didn't find them.
My favourite part(s) were near the end: "So why can’t we wake? From this beautiful nightmare! My knees are scraped! From crawling nowhere!" and "I still miss the light! And your crystal laughter! So I swear I’ll try! To see what comes after..." That general section (can't think of the word), hopefully you know what I mean, stuck out in comparison to the song for me.
Nice job. Only criticism I have is that in some parts the rhyming seemed a tad bit forced. A tad. That's it. XP
| ByYourSide chapter 1 . 5/7/2008
I love this. Something about it is catchy, and the repetition of 'obsidian' flows. It fits.
If this song ever gets sung, I definitely wanna hear it. *grin*
| Wilkem21 chapter 1 . 5/7/2008
not bad at all. i really enjoy it. the emotional range covered is also very good. and you're right. the best songs usually come during an emotional period. keep up the good work.