|Reviews for The Seven Sins|
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
Um...well, how do I start...
Your story has potential, but unfortunately it's marred with quite a few errors. Your paragraphing is way off. And I mean, way off. It looks as if you clumped them all together. Space them out a little and it might look better. I mean, c'mon, dialogue should be in the next paragraph or something. And bad paragraphing makes your story confusing and hard to read. Call me stupid, but I got lost and I had to keep rereading your story to understand what exactly is happening.
Another thing, your punctuation. It's missing quite a bit, so you might wanna add a few commas here and there. But make sure they're at the right places.
Work on 'em and you'll be fine. I think.
Looking forward to the next chapter. I think.
| noonelivehereanymore chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
That was interesting in an awesomely wierd way! Haha! I like wierd. But it was kinda hard to read, I suggest you space some of it so people can read it in little chunks, having one whole block like that makes it a little intimidating to read. Continue, okay!