Reviews for Summer Memories
LyricsArePoetry chapter 1 . 5/13/2008
Aw!

So swet!
aicilef chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
What would make this poem infinitely better is emotion and imagery. if you dedicated a couple lines to setting the scene, maybe with idk, a beach scene, the wind blowing across, the sound of the ocean, ect. you could create the emotion that the speaker is feeling without being overly blunt about it and just up front like you have. Instead of just saying "thoughts of you enter my mind" actually describe one occurance that happened, or a particularly "special" moment that will help define the now nondescript guy. Again with the lines 4-6 (even the whole thing) just add some imagery and it would really pull the reader into your story. Remember you gotta make the reader feel everything. Keep up the work!