Reviews for I Don't Want to Wake Up
kelsi bones chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
"I'm not sure if you can think something is beautiful and still not care about them."

i'm not sure either. that line made me think a LOT.

i like that ]

this is sad and gorgeous and i like it.

k.X
fairytale failure chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
Wow. Is this based on an actual dream? The writing is amazing. It seems almost like prose poetry because of the amount of description and figures of speech. You language is beautiful; I love your phrases, especially 'I would cry but my world is drying up and crumbling'. And about a million other lines. In so few words, you portrayed a really complicated relationship in this poem and one that I can relate to - especially the idea of wanting the dream to be real. the ending was very good, as you connected it back to the part where you were describing the cabin. My only criticism is that there were a few places where grammatical errors distracted me from what you were writing. I think 'failing to sell me this beautiful world' should be 'failing to sell me ON this beautiful world', and in the second paragraph you use 'exit' to end two sentences right next to each other. I think this piece could benefit from some minor editing and making sure the verb tenses agree.