Reviews for Bright Eyes
Eternity Memory chapter 2 . 9/27/2008
This is so awesome. I love the way you describe the strange creatures that lurk in the city. It gives New Amsterdam a menacing atmosphere. I really like the characters so far, too. I will definitely be looking forward to updates.
perdita's kiss chapter 2 . 9/25/2008


Yuval chapter 1 . 6/11/2008
Wow, I can't believe I never noticed this before! If it had been marked "fantasy", I probably would have been in there like... like a fantasy geek who's spotted a fantasy story. But if it's magical realism, it's probably better off in the category you've put it under; besides, not only will people take it more seriously there, but it won't have to compete with eighty thousand million other fantasy stories for reviews!

Ahem. I'm not bitter.

Anyway. I fell in love with this chapter from the first paragraph. It just perfectly sums up the two girls' relationship - they're friends, friendly enough to be out at night together, but the relationship is strained and one of them is quite passive-aggressive about her resentment of the other. All in one sentence! You just packed more characterisation into three lines than most people manage in three chapters. I expected no less of you.

This is much less lyrical than your other story, but as the setting is grittier, I don't mind at all. In fact, as much as I love your poetry, I'm impressed that you can maintain your descriptive skills so well in a more succinct style. I love the snappy dialogue and Caroline's narrative voice, which is a bit petulant - understandably so - but really shows a decent personality. I like them both as characters, and I can really empathise both with Caroline's annoyance and her concern. They're two enjoyably different characters, but I can still see why they'd be friends.

I like the touches of fantasy you've added, and the fact that you've done it so subtly that it seems almost subliminal. Two girls alone on a rainy night under artifical lights is an eerie-enough image, and the off-handed mention of the shadows adds an unsettling touch. In fact, it's such a quiet little sign that something is amiss that it could just be Caroline's imagination, and I also like that uncertainty; uncertainty's underused in fiction.

Apart from the shadow-bending, I can't really work out why Caroline is so discomforted by Collin - he seems pretty normal to me - but she seems an intuitive sort of character so I hope to read more about him. "...she remembers that he might not even be a person" is a curious sort of thing to think about someone you've only just met. As I haven't seen much of this universe yet - and, hey, I've never been to New Amsterdam; maybe it's a robot metropolis! (this is a joke.) - it's really piqued my curiosity and made me think that perhaps she has a reason to believe in... inhuman people.

Fantastic first chapter. I find it mildly confusing, but in a good way, and I like this peculiar little triptych of characters. I want to read more and find out just what's going on, because I'm intrigued now.
Lost In Context chapter 1 . 5/12/2008
Interesting reincarnation of Bright Eyes. A little less dreamy, but still with a blend of unreal. Me likey. Good job on the dialogue, too.
perdita chapter 1 . 5/10/2008
oh my oh my

this is the best desert to a day of munchies!

i rather love this bright eyes incarnation

for a moment i thought you were reposting the old one then i started reading

it flows so well and your characters are a little more solid this time

collin seems adorable i want to read more about him (physically and plot wise lol)

update soon

update ANYTHING soon your work is a treat