Reviews for The Dragons Curse
Prongs chapter 9 . 10/28/2008
This was soo sweet and innocent and I loved it! I can't wait to become a member and start writing! Well done!
Where Dragons Hide I Am chapter 9 . 10/19/2008
Excellent story. I loved the end. It was so sweet and it wrapped everything up nicely.
MsMellowMint chapter 9 . 10/3/2008
Amazingly well written story. I'm hoping to be able to write as well as you do.
stoplightgodess chapter 9 . 10/2/2008
*sigh* its nice and easily paced, a really nice read thanks.
Coastertony chapter 9 . 10/2/2008
Nice story. I tend to read lengthier stories with more action, but this is well written and enjoyable. Good job!
JtheChosen1 chapter 9 . 10/2/2008
awesome ending!
JtheChosen1 chapter 8 . 9/17/2008
awesome story! i like this one alot!
Zakemaster chapter 1 . 9/12/2008
I have to admit, before I even started reading this you were in the red. This is about the second most cliche fantasy plot ever, second to "Boy grows up as a farmer to realize he's a king, mystic hero, etc." Then, you had a really long and boring conversation. I know you were trying to cleverly tell the reader about the dragons, but you failed. It was a desperate attempt at introducing exposition, and it read as such. Also, corny things like him blinking away that single tear really just destroyed the mood. It just seemed to be a pointless addition that didn't make sense, considering the way he was talking hinted that he found the news depressing, not tear-jerking. Still, I digress. I really do like the amount of detail you eventually get in to, put the detail is told, not shown. That can really get taxing on a dedicated reader. No offense to you, and I'm sure the story gets much better, but in the future you'd already have a much stronger audience if you decided to break the norm. Still, I wish you the best of luck on your story. It could just be I'm in one of those moods. Who knows. Sorry for this harsh review, but that's just what I'm thinking. Still, keep writing. I can see talent in your work. Bring all of it out, if you haven't yet already.
sylenctone chapter 8 . 9/11/2008
Ok, I'm a bad person for reviewing chapters out of order but this one was so moving I had to say something right away! I'm so *very* relieved that Wieda has returned to her own kind safely but what a sad thing for them to have to part. I really hope that the promise of profitable mining in exchange for the safety of the dragon eggs is an equitable one for the king. Oh dear. And it might be dangerous for Warmon and Wieda to come visit but oh I really hope they do. Hehe!

Thank you for writing! sorry I've been a spaz with reviews lately.

Your ever fretting but loyal fan,

jess
sylenctone chapter 5 . 8/18/2008
Oh dear. I guess my paranoia was not entirely unfounded. I think I'm pleased that Esora knows Castus so well. Perhaps it will make a difference when the inevitable confrontation occurs. I feel a bit bad for Conn. He must be quite worried for his son now. Still, I think Esora is a good man, no doubt he will do his best to avoid harming the boy.

As for Edmund, Wieda, and Castus, they seem to be doing well and they do have quite a respectable head start. Castus seems to be being very careful in what he teaches his grandson. Conn may not be there but I'm certain that Castus is still thinking about what his son would and would not want Edmund learning about life on the road. I could be completely over reading this though.

Thanks for writing!

Your still very paranoid fangirl,

jess
sylenctone chapter 4 . 8/18/2008
I think Edmund is learning a great deal about his grandfather on this trip. And his father, and most certainly himself. He is a very caring young man and wise for his years. I wonder if he really will return to the Inn when all of this is done.

I get the feeling that Wieda will be very different from most other dragons, and not just because she can breathe fire. Her acceptance (or maybe acknowledgment) of humanity's right to live and exist and also her acceptance of the similarities between dragons and humans will mark her as very different from the rest of her kind. Of course the trio has to make it that far for us to find out. It bothers me a bit that it seems that Castus left his sword home. Though I can't imagine where he would be carrying it that Edmund didn't see, I kind of hope he has it somewhere. I'm worried that they are leaving rather an easy trail to follow, with the way Wieda's claws dig into the ground. I doubt they are really trying to hide their camps either. I suppose I'm being paranoid again though.

Thanks for writing!

Your somewhat late and overly paranoid fangirl,

jess
N.E. Olson chapter 2 . 7/24/2008
I love the way the dragon talks, and the way you described her was great too. I'm really liking where the plot is going.
N.E. Olson chapter 1 . 7/23/2008
"He had turned up at the inn owned by Edmund's parents without any explanation for where he had been or what he had been doing after a years-long absence and Edmund's father had relunctantly allowed him to take up residenc." There should be a comma after "absence" and before "and" since both clauses could stand independently. Also, it is such a long sentence that it starts to read like a run-on. Consider shortening or seperating.

"But the old man was strong despite his age and he pulled his own weight." Again, a comma is needed after "age" and before "and" because they are independent clauses. If you took out "he" then no comma would be needed. That's what I recommend; it flows a little bit smoother.

"...but as long as the training did not keep Edmund from getting his chores done..." "But despite knowing more about the wide world than most of his peers..." The two "but" beginning each clause followed by two syllables with the dominant stress on the second syllable reads as very repetetive. It doesn't flow well. I would recommend removing the second "but" and beginning that next paragraph with "despite" alone. That would also take care of the repetetiveness of the "but" in the next sentence: "But he was still a curious boy..."

"In the near darkness, Edmund nearly jumped out of his boots." "Near" and "nearly" in the same sentence.

Sorry for the nitpicking. Your grammar and syntax were flawless most of the time; it seemed criminal not to make suggestions in the few places that weren't.

I really enjoyed this chapter. The characterization is well done, the setting is described fabulously, and the pacing is great. In this first chapter it's very relaxed (even though there is that bit of action at the end with the fire), but it's apparent that things are going to pick up nicely. I feel like I'm being eased into the story which is a nice change of pace from the KAPOW beginnings that writers have begun to favor. The description of dragon nesting habits is original and sets up the plot well. I like the idea of the dragons being cursed, and I'm curious about the stranger who showed up searching for the man with the egg. I can't wait to find out more. :)
sylenctone chapter 3 . 6/9/2008
Well I must say that this allayed my fears that Castus might have divided loyalties. It seems he plans to stay true to his family. Edmund seems understandably bewildered by the whole situation, yet he's so calm about it. I was a bit surprised that Conn and Mera agreed to let him go so easily. I wonder what Captain Esora will think when he returns and finds both Castus and Edmund gone. Then again, with Castus' reputation as a wanderer, it might not be so odd. Still, I've got a healthy dose of paranoia, so I'm a bit worried for them all. Though if I wasn't, I suppose it wouldn't be a good story.

Thanks for writing!

Your fangirl who's finished a triple dose of dragon,

jess
sylenctone chapter 2 . 6/9/2008
Oh dear. Edmund has agreed to play mother to a dragon. And not just any dragon, but one with an army of soldiers out to kill her. Though he seems to have a good start on the skills he'll need as an Innkeeper when his father retires, I think young Edmund's life is going to get a bit more interesting, and soon. A pity that he didn't tell his grandfather about the dragonling, but perhaps it was for the best. I'll be looking forward to seeing where you take this one.

Thanks for writing!

Your intrigued fangirl,

jess
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