Once again, insanely helpful. I really appreciate that you do this for aspiring writers such as myself. Thank you!

This was really helpful, thanks for writing it!

I loved this
I have noticed a few mistakes in my writing mentioned here. Although used sparingly 'just' is in my novel, especially in characters' speeches.
I use -ing words as well. I'll need to revise to ensure they make sense. thank you for this.
Again good article.

Dang, this is information I need my friend to learn, that and I need to learn it. Those writing books can't give me as good as an explanation as a real person! Yet, you are giving me a pretty good explanation. I've been looking through your works that help writers, and I'm finding myself jotting down notes. Then again, this may sound weird, but I do the same thing when I'm reading a book written by some "famous" author. Personally, those famous authors sound like crap. Do you ever think that. They over use words, or make their love scenes flat out laughable. I need to go back to scanning your works to see if you did one on, Keeping it Real. I hate when I pick up a fantasy and find there is nothing I can relate too, because the character doesn't have any familiar feelings and ideas.

Great guide! This will probably help a lot of new authors. But I'm not sure that I agree about #1. What's wrong with the sentence is the fact the wrong word is used. "forwards" should be forward.
Honestly, 'said' and ask get boring after a chapter or so If someone can't read the words, they can always read something else. Plenty of other people can understand and enjoy a variety.
#14 doesn't make any sense to me. Why have a one dollar story when you can have a fifty dollar one? It doesn't add up. I've read enough to know a few 25 cent words of the top of my head. There's nothing wrong with looking something up to have a nice sounding story. No one old enough to be on this site wants to read a Clifford The Big Red Dog story.
And 13.5 should always be ditched if your character is super-formal. Just sayin'.

LOL - this is funny. Well written, and probably helpful to a lot of people out there.

"It seems this is to assure the reader they are not walking backwards." "Otherwise, they don’t make the reader feel excited, they make you sound sugar-high." Loved those two sentences.

Also: "because of the inference that somehow, somewhere, there are severed limbs being scattered deliberately and methodically." - Again, love the quite sarcastic humour.

Nonetheless, may I put in my two cents?

For 1 - "Very" is the same. In 80% of all times it's used, it is unnecessary. I always suggest to take those words out.

For 5 - Don't forget the "there/their/they're" and "its/it's". Basically the same as the "your/you're" mistake but those things drive me crazy.

For 8 - When beta-reading, I always try to replace such words with verbs that say the same. E.g. "She smirked" instead of "she smiled evilly". I know it's not exactly the same, but it worked before, and I can't think of a better example right now :P

For 9 - I'd actually disagree with that one. Yes, I do try to avoid adverbs. Yes, there are examples where synonyms for "said" can be distracting. But I still think the monotony you get if you always use "said" is worse. Even if it's "to answer", "to reply", or "to exclaim" (if the character's really exclaiming) from time to time, IMO that's better than using "said/asked" the whole time. But no offense to you, I know everyone has a different style.

For 13 - May I ask what exactly you mean by "stupid teenagers"? Maybe I'm slow to catch on right now but I can't really imagine what you mean.

Other than that - good job overall _

This was an extremely helpful essay. I'm an aspiring writer, and I think that this article will help me improve my work greatly.

I also like how your lists were short and to the point; healthy for my eyes. You made some good points and provided clear examples. You, sir, have done me a favor. :)

Your short but at the same time useful essay is very useful that i can use that useful knowledge for other useful usages. The only thing i wonder is why to make everything 'teenager'. What if i'm forty-two years old and still not a legit writer? Kids theses days...

Very good! You have a unqiue voice and you add humor to your wrting. I can imagine you are a great journalist.

Wow, thanks a bunch! I'll go check my story now (hehe). I became really worried. Thanks for the tips! :D

Well written,but I'd ENCOURAGE thesaurus use - they're a wonderful invention.

Nice guide. I bet I make some of those mistakes often. xD

Very Useful,indeed!

Thank you so much for this. It really helps a lot. Now I'll be sure to avoid certain transitions when writing.

Some of the best advice I've ever read.

Yet, it's still funny when I think about it. I honestly make many of these mistakes. Urg, I must try harder not to be so teenagerish in my writing.

BTW - The whole part that someone might actually methodically scatter limbs made me laugh. You've got a great sense of humor which makes this a great little piece to read and learn from.