|Reviews for She Says|
| Yumko Yummy chapter 3 . 6/28/2011
good cause i had to reread what this story was about and i still want to read more of it. i really like it so far. hope it gets even better later on. :)
| Katie chapter 3 . 6/28/2011
just found this and i really like it
love how you actually write how a teenager thinks, not some perfect language
hope you update soon, lookin forward to whatever happens
| sirozorg chapter 3 . 6/28/2011
OMG! Yes please! I want more chapters! I love this story T_T
| sirozorg chapter 2 . 2/19/2011
This is a great story! I want more! update soon please! _
| shhh chapter 2 . 1/15/2011
want to see what happened next.
| bedrock chapter 2 . 2/17/2010
Well done, update please :]
| CompassGold chapter 2 . 2/3/2009
This story's awesome. I hope you update soon. Not sure what you keep saying it might be bad for, the story's great. You've got a pretty smooth style, and compared to some story's I've seen were its in first person, this is certainly not the worst, not even close.
So keep writing, I'll be looking for the next update :)
| vanilla.barcode chapter 2 . 1/28/2009
Wow, this is brilliant. It's very detailed and just...great. This has gotten off to a good start, can't wait for more.
Keep up the good work,
| Sara Evans chapter 1 . 12/3/2008
I liked the way you wrote this and the storyline you took. You're right about it being long and that's where I've sort of got a problem with the way you've written it.
When a new character starts to speak, it's normally grammatically correct to do so on a new line ie:
"Hello," Silverscreen crush said.
Sara Evans waved. "Hi, are you going?"
Rather than just continuing on in large chunky paragraphs try and use new lines/paragraphs to break up the flow of conversation because that way the person reading it won't get too confused with who is saying what. With what you've written it takes a couple of goes to work out who's saying what which is annoying because I like reading quality work quickly because it feels as though I'm a part of it. When I have to stop to work out who's saying what it becomes too slow.
The way that the protagonist speaks with herself adds a great atmosphere to the whole script but, again, it gets confused with actual conversation between characters.
Hope you're going to write some more on this though because it has a great potential! Like I said, just work on the editing.
| Doc W chapter 1 . 6/14/2008
I have to say that I love it :D and that I hope that you will update this story as soon as you can.