|Reviews for The Omega Killer|
| thatisnotmyrealnamehaha chapter 2 . 5/26/2008
I think this story has an interesting premise - I liked what you said about using a bunch of different POVs to tell the story. I'm looking forward to future chapters ;D
| Hed in the Cloudz chapter 2 . 5/25/2008
Poor Amanda! I like the suddenness of this headline, how we don't hear anything else from Amanda's POV before she dies. It gives the story an element of surprise and mystery, making me want to read even more!
I don't like that you say "all" witnesses, though. They wouldn't already be witnesses if you mean all people who knew her, and the witnesses are obviously going to step up. It sounds less professional than the rest of the blotter, making it unbelievable.
Can't wait till you continue!
-Yna, from the Review Marathon (link in my profile!)
| Hed in the Cloudz chapter 1 . 5/25/2008
Way to impersonate a teenage girl! This is perfectly overdramatic and dwells on crap just the right amount, and yet mixes in the very-realistic fear that I can completely believe that the girl is feeling, whether or not she has a reason to.
The only flaw in your impersonation is the fact that you call Kyle by his full name. She wouldn't do that, and it makes him sound like her worst enemy instead of former boyfriend. From the diaries I'm familiar with, he'd be Kyle, K, or KH- not Kyle Harris, certainly.
-Yna, from the Review Marathon (see the link in my profile!)