|Reviews for Letters to Mary McGraw|
| OoohLookACat chapter 6 . 6/10/2008
he's writing back
which is a good thing of course
and when mary's dad was angry at the beginning of this chapter
i was like "oh dear lord, he isn't like one of those fathers who beats up his daughter is he?"
but i was pleasantly surprised that he wasn't
thought you might want to know that haha
other than that, good chapter, as always
can't wait for the next one
| cheergurl12 chapter 5 . 6/5/2008
good chapter. the
last line was sad:( haha
| Yannick chapter 1 . 6/5/2008
I think... that this chapter was the best out of all that I'd read so far... your writing is most developed here. It almost seems like your muse has gone into hiding. Like Amaterasu.
That Park Bench paragraph... was a fine example of an awkward sentence right at the end of a BE-AUT-IFUL paragraph.
But that's alright.
Did she know James in High School? Was he one of those, what do you call it? Untouchables? Or was he one of those P.O.N's?
The last paragraph (before the last sentence) was a bit confusing. It wasn't one of those "once over, once done" paragraphs. It was one of those "Read it once, then read it again" types. It's good sometimes, makes you think. But for me, since I'd just read your entire story again (and my mind's a bit tired) I just get lazy.
Oh! and just a comment but...
I'D LOVE TO BE COMPARED TO THE VIRGIN MARY!
That's my penname: Maria Regina Queen Mary Mother Mary
It is my name though...
| teardropsONroses chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
this was really good
and the previous chapter too
since i was bugging you to write more, thank you
will you write more more?
| tornangelwings chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
seven thats alot, in the 2008 graduating senior class there is about four or five. three of whom have enlisted into the marines, and the others enlisted in the army.
i think i may have told you about the kid i know who is going into the marines, well he leaves july 14th to go to san diego, at least he is not going to Paris Island i heard that place is hell.
well anyways that kid is my ex so my stomach twists everytime i think about him going over seas, even if he may join my cousin. it still sucks.
i guess i am just intrigued with guys entering the military. i dont know.
well enough prattling by me your story...magnificent as always. i love the part where is going to be on leave, i just cant wait to see her reaction...as well as his. i could THEORETICALLY guess that he is going to be enthralled by the smell of lavender, in her hair...or perhaps her skin. i guess i shall have to wait.
though i do hope that i do not have to wait long, because i do so love to read your writing. nice job.
(please...call me Duke)
| theslykit chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
hey this is a pretty good story! please update soon!
| DuchessYappingDog chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
I hope Bill didn't die, but I can't really tell if that was just a dream or not. :/
| Yannick chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
Everything was fine until the last line!
I've heard that line so many times now... and it may seem like the only possible way to write it, but you're a talented 'gal. I'm sure you could come up with another way.
The letters were good. I was definitely looking forward to them...
The visits to James' old man was definitely surprising. I was surprised to hear he even HAD folks any more.
Um... lesse, you weren't quite clear on the injury. Where'd he get it? How'd he get it (obviously from the war but...) it might just be me, you may have mentioned it somewhere, but just thought I should let you know.
Oh! And the first thought that I had!
Take your time, no need to rush (well, maybe there is. What with the time limit and everything) but just re edit, once through again maybe... I think I found a couple'a awkward sentences, which really threw it off balance. For example, you'd have a really good paragraph and then the ending sentence wouldn't be worded right.
It's all GRAMATICALLY correct, but it's just about how you jot things down. I often have this problem too.
But all in all... a 9.5/10 chapter..!
PS I know I'm not one to talk, but just thought...
| OoohLookACat chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
i do like it.
it's very different to the usual stories
and it's interesting to read because it's unpredictable
well..it could be predictable
but i don't know what's coming
so its unpredictable to me
can't wait for more
| lovers tiff chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
I love this story so much! Fantastic writing, am completely hooked :)
However, did his friend Bill die? Or was that the dream?
Update soon! x
| gulistala chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
Hang on, so was Bill and all them dying just a nightmare or was it real? Oh no!
Yep, I did like this chapter, although there is a great deal to grieve about.
You're keeping up the good work, I see. D
| I Murder on Impulse chapter 5 . 6/4/2008
| Seisaset chapter 4 . 6/2/2008
finally he writes her back and we find out more about laura. oh, i want to know what the sirens are! please update soon :)
| ShaliniR chapter 4 . 6/2/2008
This story is going pretty good so far and I'm interested to see how it turns out. Hope you update soon.
| Yannick chapter 4 . 6/2/2008
You've a few spelling errors here and there, and even though it doesn't account to much I'm a big one on spelling and grammar.
I have to be honest though, James writing a letter back was really not something I had expected. To be truthful, I'd sort of expected Mary to write to him through the whole war without a reply (however sad that may seem).
The paragraph above the "Early September" thing didn't quite come across. It's fine, no big errors or anything. Just thought you could make it better. Like it's missing something.
Or you could leave it at that.
Nice one this time 'round.