|Reviews for The Gauntlet|
| Hed in the Cloudz chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
Wow, creepy. I love the repetition, and how it adds to the mood, and how it creates this overall singsong feel. It's as if I, as the reader, are being let in on some secret, and that secret's that both the victim AND the writer are crazy! I hope that's what you were going for, because you certainly succeeded.
I would like to mention that you skip around tenses a bit- in stanzas four and six, to be exact. Everything else is in past tense, and then you use "lie" and "give him." I realize that "lie" is one of the few words that would fit into your rhyme scheme in that context, so perhaps you can add a "did" before each?
Thanks for letting me R&R!
-Yna, from the Review Marathon (for more info, check out my profile!)