Reviews for In the Sun
Angel chapter 1 . 9/3/2009
Just beautiful. The emotions she was feeling were so clear and sharp, and it made it easy for me to imagine to be her. Your whole story felt so real. I looved it.
jiali18 chapter 1 . 2/16/2009
This piece was brilliant. I could feel the ache the girl felt for leaving him and the ache she felt knowing that she would always be "the other woman." It was poetic and the imagery of it all was beautiful, especially the first paragraph. The longing between them was almost tangible.

I also love how you didn't have names for the two characters. It suits it for some reason. In a way, not naming the two characters makes the one-shot seem more universal, as if the situation could happen to anyone and not just two people named "Rose" and "Drake" (I have no idea where I got those names, but they just popped into my head :D).

For the ending, you leave it open-ended, and in my opinion, I don't think they ever get back together. It's more realistic that way, and also because I love sad endings. I know. I'm weird. However, I do believe that the man loves her. Sometimes, though, love simply isn't enough and I think this is what happened here. I respect the woman, though. It takes a lot of courage to do what she did in the end.

And wow, I wrote another long review. I do have a life, I do. I have lots of h/w, but I'm procrastinating right now so yes...

Btw, if you ever think about making this one-shot into an actual story, I'll totally check this out. :D
SecretsUntold chapter 1 . 12/30/2008
cool story :)

who was the other girl that always came first?
blurrylights chapter 1 . 12/8/2008
Hmm...I liked it, but who was it that always came first? anyway, good job. :)
DirtyLiar chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
I hate the dude in this story, I dont care if he is going through inner conflict, or whether there is a background info about the guy that makes it alright for him to do something like this,and I know most of the people might find it funny how he is playing with 2 different girls, but I really hate him, I really wish someone can break his nose.

heh!

Sorry, my friends think I am a feminist, but i just had to let my anger out.

Great story, I am actually really happy that she left him, she deserves so much more.

If you do plan on continueing, here a word of advise leave that guy hanging in the end with no girl what so ever, that would be funny.)
Mrs. Awesomesauceness chapter 2 . 7/2/2008
Good Story...

Keep Going...
elisefey chapter 1 . 6/24/2008
Very nicely done. Heartbreaking, but the emotions are wonderfully real.
GrannyP chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
I read what the challenge was and decided that there was no way in the world that I would be able to do it! But you did it wondefully. It was sad though. And I like how it was vague but you still had a pretty good understanding of what had happened. Nice work!
substitute angel chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
Hey, it's me again. I wish I'd gotten to read this earlier, but school was killer the last couple of weeks and I've been AWOL on fiction press for awhile. Anyway, now my computer's fixed, school's over and I'm back. I really enjoyed reading this. You have no idea. I love how you hinted at things and added the apropiate amount of detail to help the story flow along. It was really beautifully done, and I'm adding it to my favorite's list. A job very well done.

Lacy :)
pete's sake delete the account chapter 1 . 5/27/2008
Wow! This is one of the best challenge responses I've seen yet! All the requirements were seamlessly included, the plot was unexpected, and the characters seemed like they could breathe.

Thanks for writing this. It was a pleasure to read.
Faithfully Yours chapter 1 . 5/25/2008
That was... Really, really, really, really well written. Seriously. Fantastic job!
JellyBeaner chapter 1 . 5/25/2008
Aw. This was very bittersweet. Your imagery is great in this and I could feel her pain as she forces herself to let go. Great job.

-A.
effervescent-sentiments chapter 1 . 5/24/2008
Aww. Too sweet - in a sad way, you know?

I'd recommend against the second part. I love when stories leave you hanging like this. But that's just me, the tragic love hound. :)

I love these challenges, don't you? They're so addicting!

Anyway, cheers to the good work!

Julia