|Reviews for Consequences of the Mysterious Piece of Garbage|
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 15 . 10/17/2008
Aww, it ended. It was good though. I loved it and I'm glad Snickles got back to being a cat. I can't get this silly grin off my face either. Good job writing this story. You did well.
| tash-263 chapter 1 . 10/12/2008
i no you have more but i'm gonna review each chapter as i read them
| Amir Risar chapter 14 . 9/25/2008
This story is great. Your writing style is similar to Eoin Colfer. I'm adding this story to my favorites. Can't wait for the next chapter!
| Glenn Dusting chapter 13 . 9/1/2008
This has to be the best story I have read on this site to date. I love the characters and the twists of Snickles turning into a human and Audrey being a house cat. You have created quite a detailed world in which the cats live and it really adds to the story. The story reminds me of the television series Billy the Cat where a boy is turned into a cat. As Snickles seems quite young, I would have perhaps had Snickles turn into a kid. That way it would make more sense for Lulu to take him in. Keep writing; I can’t wait to see what happens next. And when you finish make sure you do a sequel, I’d loved to see what else these characters get up to.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 13 . 8/16/2008
I would have never suspected something of Audrey. Well! Glad to see you updated. VelvetyCheerio.
| Renee L.H. Gowri chapter 12 . 8/9/2008
Ack! I'm so sorry! I've been meaning to get to your story as you updated, but I've been caught up in other things! I'm so sorry! Argh...(Is banging her head repeatedly on the keyboard.) Thanks for the shout-out by the way. :)
Anyway, I keep noticing this overall rush-ness to it. For example, in chapter five Audrey seems to already have this immediate interest in Tom and Snickles. I'm asking myself why? Especially since Tom was ready to attach her and was so rude. She didn't know them that well and decided much to fast to search for Snickles.
The same happens when Tom and Snickles had that fight earlier and Tom told him to go away. Arguments can be fast, but not that fast. Same thing happened when Snickles began thinking differently and doing things differently because of his human form, when Tom first told Audrey Snickles turned human, when Snickles asked, "Tom, do you hate me?", when Snickles asked, "Could I stay here for awhile?", et cetera.
But don't get me wrong! It's not like your omitting important literary elements like grammar or voice. I just think there should be more detail. I'm a stickler for detail. :)
Improved sentence structure also can help this piece along. I notice you use a lot of simple or compound sentences. But how about compound-complex sentences? Interjections? Fragments even?
Other than that, your piece is over the top! If writing could be compared to glass, your story is like a clear diamond-like wine glass. Perfect grammar, great voice, WONDERFUL story, and, my favorite out of all, fantastic characters. I simply ADORE Flora. Just hearing her talk (meow?) makes me smile. :) The toddler and Lulu? Lovable. Even better? The cat Spanish is a very creative concept. Kudos!
By the way, this may seem unimportant to you and other readers, but I love that street the dangerous Italian restaurant is on: Limerick Lane. I love poetry, and limericks are some of my favorite. It's so light-hearted and rhythmic, that you can't help but fall in love with it. It struck a chord in me, and that's always great to do to your reader. :)
Another thing I love is how Snickles is adjusting to this new situation, especially when he meets Lulu and is trying to figure out what the coffee and tea was.
Moreover, I've been gone from my own home for about three weeks, and over the period of time it really made me miss my own two cats. So when I came back and saw them as well as read your story, it renewed my appreciation and love for the two of them. Thank you so much.
But I must say, they really need to stop sleeping in the laundry basket of clean black clothes. Sigh.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 12 . 7/28/2008
Don't worry, Snickles, you aren't the only one that is confused. I looked around in some of the other chapters because I was wondering if Snickles turned into an adult, young adult, or teenager? Just wanted to know because of the fact that Lulu would take him in after he got kicked out of his house. All in all, the chapter was good. You keep it up, Lady Loor!
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 11 . 7/22/2008
Phew! Close call with that dog. I hope those cats find the solution to Snickles's human problem and quick. You keep it up. VelvetyCheerio.
| VelvetyCheerio chapter 5 . 7/13/2008
I really like this story, since it's focused around cats. You keep it up. I'm going to finish now. VelvetyCheerio.
| Mr. McMacMe chapter 1 . 6/21/2008
THat stunk get a life and stop making bad stories.
| Jenni Mills chapter 7 . 6/21/2008
we haven’t had an ACC meeting that was over two hours long. Old Lawrence could yap on for a while…”
I think this sentence would make more sense if you added 'for a while'
ie; We haven't had an ACC meeting that was over two hours long for a while ..."
Would Tom have seen Audrey at an ACC meeting before? And if not - wouldn't that make him suspicious?
'Come to think of it - I don't think I've seen you at an ACC meeting before, Tom said, eyeing Audrey with suspicion.
| Jenni Mills chapter 6 . 6/19/2008
I love the little image of Audrey being undignified ( a cat's worst nightmare isn't it?).
Your character development is at it's peak and I think you really need to get in some interesting plot movement now.
I'll look forward to fining out what happens next.
| Jenni Mills chapter 5 . 6/19/2008
Wow, I can't stop reading now. This is so interesting. You really are very clever with your plot devices. What is Audrey's secret? I'm wondering.
| Jenni Mills chapter 4 . 6/19/2008
Great chapter. There was wonderful relationship development here; first wariness, then a flare of old friendship and then mistrust.
I also loved the way you handled the underwear issue. It was amusing and I was wondering how you were going to handle it.
| Jenni Mills chapter 3 . 6/19/2008
coming along nicely. I was wondering what the glowing stuff was going to do to Snickles.