Reviews for One Heart NOTE: This is not it, please read chp 1
German Mickey chapter 9 . 7/28/2008
My favorite chapter!
German Mickey chapter 8 . 7/20/2008
Aaw! Ryumii was only trying to protecct her! So sad...

But a good chapter!
AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 3 . 7/20/2008
Wow.. very nice twist!
AndTheWholeHeartShrinks chapter 2 . 7/20/2008
I asked her keeping my glaze in front of me.

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small typo but other than that, amazing job!
German Mickey chapter 7 . 6/9/2008
Ooh! What's her plan? Update soon!
German Mickey chapter 6 . 6/8/2008
Hm... why wass Hariimata following them?

Great chapter!
German Mickey chapter 4 . 6/8/2008
Those were very wise, very deep words that Talitha said. Mad props for that! They made so much sense.
AK the Twilight chapter 1 . 5/27/2008
This prologue makes an interestingly fantastic approach to war, something that the world really doesn't need any more of. It's quite beautiful.

I can't say too much about this, but the tone seems to shift pretty violently throughout. Try to add some transitions to make Ryumii's story easier to understand. I also never understood how a three year old could comprehend this genocide. Where's the childhood innocence? Maybe that's another thing that could be fixed.

This does sound to be an exciting story. Good luck and keep up the good work.