|Reviews for Meddling Parents|
| Abbigail Cross chapter 4 . 4/18/2009
Yeah, you need to UPDATE!
I like this list, too.
| DStone39 chapter 4 . 3/28/2009
Okay... I'm a little disorientated from the crazy topic I found you in... so...
The story is pretty good. All those past set-ups doomed to fail, having prejudices against her latest set-up, interesting idea. That list of yours was quite extensive! I can see why he would say she's too choosy.
A very interesting story, sure to have some humorous moments. I'll alert it for further chapters.
| Thoughtful Silence chapter 2 . 1/2/2009
All right, second time's the charm.
Now, this ain't my usual reading, but I found myself smiling whilst reading this more than a few times. I like the way it is written like a fiction/ diary-entry hybrid, it really allows you to show Sarina's character and her thought process.
I think there are two main reasons I liked reading this: 1) Because the syntax / grammar were good (a rare feat here on FP) and 2) because the dialogue flows well and is realistic (an even more rare event). So... Kudos.
As for specifics to this chapter... I gotta say that the list in it is a bit lengthy. I mean, I understand how it fits into the story, but it made the chapter feel a bit disjointed. Though I can save Sarina the trouble and say that no guy ticks all those points :]
Something about this chapter seemed a bit... rushed, to me at least. You seem almost too hasty for there to be an instant chemistry between the main girl and this new neighbour that you portray their relationship progressing unrealistically fast. For instance, when he moved up close to her, she seemed okay with it almost when she should probably be freaking out.
Anyways, keep up the good work.
| Stormer chapter 1 . 12/1/2008
Ooh, annoying parents and asshole guys! Drama drama.
I wish my mum had that many friends with sons, but then again I do hate being set up too!
| Qzz chapter 4 . 8/16/2008
hugs to you. wonderful chapter! keep writing please!
| S. M. Saves chapter 4 . 8/15/2008
Funny, funny, funny! (Sorry, no critiques! Maybe if you made some mistakes I could critique (laughs).)
Although, I think in chapter three there was a "would" that should have been a "wouldn't". :)
| Thoughtful Silence chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
I liked this. The general format was good (it kinda read like a diary entry, which I liked) and the grammar was flawless - always a plus in my book.
I loved the little pieces of the narrator's character you add to the story, like "Just how many sons do their friends have anyway?" It made her a likable character, as well as more easy to relate to.
The ending felt almost like a summary, which worked well insofar as setting up the story. It sounds like that kinda cliché which you can read again and again, and still like.
The only thing to criticise 'bout this, for me at least, is that the girl in the story acts a bit too young for someone who's parents want her to get married... meh.
Anyways, keep up the good work.
- Silence, courtesy of The Roadhouse (PRO- Silence squad).
| S. M. Saves chapter 2 . 8/15/2008
This reminds me of an author named Laurie Nataro. She writes humorous stories base on her life and this would be something that I'd expect her to write (only it'd involve drinking, poor hygeine, and debit).
I know you want critiques but I'm not quite sure what to say. I guess the list could have been a little shorter since it seemed to go on a ways and try to complete the thoughts before Sarina interupts the flow to interject what she thinks.
Sorry, they're not the greatest of critiques but that's because the story's so good!
| S. M. Saves chapter 1 . 8/15/2008
Wow! I like this. From what I can tell it's absolutely flawless in the grammar/spelling department. And it flowed nicely.
| supersaiyanx chapter 4 . 8/11/2008
Another well written chapter- i loved it!
Until the next update and the town-showing!
| criti-sized chapter 2 . 8/10/2008
Well after reading the prologue, I could see why this story has the perfect title for it definitely. I laughed at the soccer guy, I can't remember what number he was, but his habits were funny. And the guy that stiffed her, was another funnt one. I think every girl or guy gets stiffed at leats once in their life.
And her list, genius. Maybe had I thought of that I would've saved me a lot of trouble, lol.
Well, Sarina's a bit confused herself, lol. She tells him to get ou her room because he's readng her stuff, then tells him to come back 0_o.
All in all the chapter was nice, I found it interesting and fresh the way that you narrated it, and the characters were amusing.
| Violent Messiah chapter 4 . 8/10/2008
OK, as its been noted, I've been reading an unusual amount (for me, at least) of romance. Dark, angsty, mushy, tragic and some down right bizarre, I've been hitting all kinds. This one, however, marks my first light comic one and I gotta say, it was pretty funny.
I really like Sarina as the romantic fall guy (or gal) in this story. Everyone likes the underdog in a story, and after her initial dates, she qualifies. Anyone else with a track record like her would be understandably bitchy about their parent's meddling, yet somehow she manages not to be, which makes me want to root for her even more. Her reactions to the whacked out situations she winds up in made me smile...she's a likable, sympathetic and more importantly real seeming character.
Her interaction with other characters, especially the still not named guy (A prologue and three chapters in and still no name? You really like to drag the suspense out on that kind of thing, don't you? Ha!) cracked me up. I thought the dialog was handled pretty well, and her inner thoughts really helped make the character, in my opinion.
The mystery dude, I like him, yet he annoys me, and I'll tell you why. I like how he seems to keep Sarina off guard constantly and does it while enjoying it in a non malicious way. What bugs me about him, though, is the amount of smirking he does. I was really wishing she slapped it off of him quite a few times, he was doing it so much. Make him grin mischievously, smile sardonically, do anything but smirk so much.
Anyway, the positives definitely outweighed the not so much positives (not really big enough to call negatives) in this. It was cute, it was light hearted and most importantly (to me at least), it was funny. Keep it up. From one fellow bartender at The Road House to another, Cheers!
| Uniquely Proud chapter 3 . 7/11/2008
*Accepts cookie but starts pouting*
WHAT! No crown? No 'your highness' speech?
Good chapter. Not much development but it's alright. Update soon.
| supersaiyanx chapter 3 . 7/9/2008
An excellent chapter. I hope that you update soon.
| Qzz chapter 2 . 6/15/2008
very funny. loved this chapter, but her letter bugged me. she has unrealistic expectations! :)