I like it its mysterious and a cliff hanger its nice please write more! Oh by the way why is it called Locked Cages?

I forgot to mention that Zenial's thoughts aren't realistic.

Chap 5:

" (...) doubt anyone else will (by) him.” She’d said. Spelling mistake. It's buy. you got it right the other times.

Verb : (...) climbs into his coffin and fall into a fitfull sleep. "falls". Third person.

Other than that: good story. I like it. I'll be waiting for your updates.

People don't say each other's name that often.

“I don’t like this idea, Zenial. What are you going to do if there are monsters on the other side of the wall? Can’t we just forget the whole idea?”

“Lylon, I’m telling you, there’s nothing, NOTHING on the other side of that wall. After a few days of looking around for monsters and finding nothing, I’ll come back and you’ll all see that I was right,” Zenial insists.

“Wait a second. You’re going to be looking for monsters? Zenial, this is way too dangerous. Let’s forget it,” Lylon says, panicking.

“Lylon, I’ve waited my whole life for this. It will be fine. Please, please help me.”

“But Zenial, what if you’re wrong? You’re the only friend I’ve got. I don’t want you eaten by monsters.”

here you misspelled "fireworks": “We’ll go get the fire works now then?” Zenial asks.

You write "fireworks" all the way and then that one time "fire works"

Again, very rushed. down.

You forgot dialogue tags here

“Lights out,” a vampire calls from down stairs. I don’t want anyone telling me tonight that they’re too tired to get up because they spent the evening talking.

Never do this:

In case you didn’t know, a shout whisper is a whisper so loud it’s nearly talking,

Author notes are at the beginning or the end. Never the middle.

You hurry the story too much. Slow down, describe more. It's boring, yes, but makes it better.

The vampires seem too nice. Not mean enough. They get called monsters and then they act like this!

Found the sentence that confused in chap 1

Most vampires less than one hundred can't.

One word: Uh?

Now, for chap 2:

Short but it's good. I will definitively keep reading.

One more thing though: The teacher would have more tact with eight year olds. She made a little girl cry! No adult would to that.

At one point you have a verb in the past tense.

The vampire laughed, he laughed. The sound sent shivers up Sam's spine.

I'm a little confused about the vampire, when he's thinking in the bushes. I'll read it again, maybe then I'll understand it.

I like the idea here. Normally, in stories, the vampires never think of doing that. Usually because humans outnumber vampires. I'll keep reading. See how this unravels.

This is very good! It seems that the humans in the areas under vampire control are like animals. Quite interesting; continue!

Wuuooahoo! this is a really unique story line... i like it! you shuld get it adopted as a book. keep writing!

Cool, update soon.

i like the concept, it shows promise and intrigues me. if this is, as you said your first attempt at a story, then i encourage you to refine it and do whatever else you feel necessary. it is a very unique storyline, and it has been a while since i've read a 100% original piece of fiction.

- a

Wow, this a is a good approach to the vamp-human-coexistance thing. i liked the references to global warming & New Yorkers!

Of course humanity would be losing, too. Hahah

Kep up the writing!

Vampwannabe

This is a very rough concept, I can tell. Also, like I've stated in various other stories, I would rather you not question the readers with 'what is that you ask?' and then cut into explanation. We don't have to be probed on what your story includes; you're gonna tell it to us regardless. So I would avoid unconscious questions like that.

I still have a very vague reason as to why the humans are animals here. Is it because they don't have powers like Vampires? I like how Sweden is the main setting in the story, but I still can't see how humans are 'weak' here.

The speech that isn't even spaced is very confusing. What does that have to do with anything?

You also have to slow down. One minute humans are in a war. The next, they're losing. So please, get into more detail.