Reviews for NaCl
My Love Pinwheel chapter 34 . 6/30/2016
I just want to say, thank you. I've been browsing fictionpress for the past few days and was feeling sick of romantic cliches (altho i will admit some were p good)

Platonic soulmates just make me really really happy
luzanima chapter 1 . 7/24/2014
I started reading this story and couldn't "put it down" it was so well done! The characters really grabbed me and I was so sad when I reached the end. Do you have plans to expand it? I noticed you have it marked as 'complete' but it seemed there was still room for it to grow further. I'm off now to see what else you've written here!
Retsof chapter 34 . 7/19/2013
Kind of funny, I had found this somehow a while ago, read half-or-so, then stopped (have no idea why). Today I was thinking... "wait, what was that one again?" So, some Googling later, and I have completed my archive binge. I'm having trouble thinking of a proper way to review this, but it should suffice that I think I'm going to recommend it on a forum I frequent.
flyingpencil chapter 1 . 10/10/2011
The epic thing about this story is that it totally reminds me of my own situation: why does everyone feel free to comment that you should go out with someone just because you go well together. I wouldn't use the word soulmate, though: to me it almost has some sort of strong, pure, untouchable aura that immediately involves true love. But that's because I'm a sentimental ;). I use the expression Alter Ego, I think it applies more to friends, but that's just my opinion. I love the dynamics between your characters, I will read this (no matter how long it takes)
TheRemster chapter 34 . 7/26/2010
I have such a vested interest in these characters now. I noticed on your profile that you mentioned wanting to someday make a NaCl piece in more of a story format. I just know that when that day happens it will be a good day.
Blissful Letdown chapter 34 . 9/16/2009
The immense loyalty that was shown through their friendship was amazing. Through the simplest of things, they still found a way to feel so content with one another.

This is definitely something that I would love to find one day.

Wonderful writing style and beautiful dialogue that was simple yet painted the bigger picture.
J. C. Hunter chapter 33 . 3/9/2009
they really won't get together? as in i understand not all soulmates have to get together but them. ah. i want them to be together. lol.
squiggle-line chapter 32 . 1/23/2009
I'm glad you wrote this chapter. It cleared up Nate's motivation for pushing Joss away (and his reason is understandable!) At the same time, he needed to hear Joss's anger and resentment. They needed to have this conversation.

About the lists: "You cried when Tim signed the adoption papers..." and "Haunted houses, that tofu experiment..." I like the details they provide but it seems strange that Nate would say all that in conversation. Maybe if it's part of his thoughts instead? Otherwise, the dialogue works.

I thought the part about the plane tickets was a little strange too. Nate took them out as proof to show Joss that he really cared about her? It seems more like a vindictive, "See, I'm right" gesture than an apologetic one.

Are things really back to normal between them? It seems like a rift that huge could never be fully mended. I wanted Nate to acknowledge this in some way. When Joss brings up Danny, her and Nate's relationship subtly shifts. He notes that he can't make himself vulnerable so soon again and reverts back to humor (which is good, natural, and believable) but I wanted Nate to connect Joss's declaration about her feelings for Danny with their own newly repaired relationship. I have to admit, the reason I feel this way is probably because like another reviewer (J.C. Hunter) it would really bug me too if Joss did end up with Danny. I'm rooting for Nate, even though this may not be a competition. Even if Nate and Joss's relationship doesn't turn to the romantic nature, if Joss does end up with Danny, I still can't help feeling bad for Nate. Losing your best friend sucks. In some ways, it's not a loss as much as being left behind or replaced. When Nate cuts ties with Joss to move to DC, he's not substituting her with someone else. With Danny (even though he might be a really nice guy), it doesn't seem right that he should take over Nate's spot in Joss's life. Man, I probably sound crazy. These are your characters, not mine. Still, you've written them in such a way that they are like real people and I want them to end up happy.

Please continue!
J. C. Hunter chapter 32 . 1/18/2009
oh man. i love this story. some of the scenes remind me of me and my own best friend. but is this the cliche fall in love with best friend in the end thing? cause it bugs me to have her fall in love with danny instead. and since nate freaks at her leaving him it can just end up with them together in the end right? xD. i'm a sucker for best friend cliches. it never happens in real life.
Anon chapter 31 . 1/8/2009
I very much enjoyed reading this chapter. I wonder if you could explore more deeply the feelings of hurt/betrayal- Nate and Joss seem to just skate around the issue for the most part. I'm not saying that there should be some dramatic confrontation. In fact, your decision to deal with the the issue in small chunks feels much more realistic and I think more mature. I suppose what I mean is that both Joss and Nate would have changed during their period of estrangement, yet there are very few jarring moments in their relationship (post make up) when they realize they don't know each other quite as well. To me, it seems like they just pick up where they left off, with a few tense moments sprinkled here and there.
squiggle-line chapter 30 . 1/4/2009
I like how this is told from Nate's point of view. It makes Joss's snowman obsession funnier. At first, I thought Nate was complaining about a type of insect but as the descriptions continue, it's clear that the invasion he's referring to is a nonliving one.

The detail about "Mike's Meth Lab" made me realize that Joss was the culprit. Why is only one of the snowmen villages warped? I mean, I thought Joss would change them all to fit her creepy theme. I wanted to know why she put up the snowmen villages in the first place.

I like the bit about family at the end although I don't understand why Nate would offer to pay for her ticket. Joss is visiting Nate's family because she wants to. Does he think she's doing him a favor by going with him?

The ending is well timed. I like how the plot comes full circle.

Please continue!
Duuude chapter 2 . 12/14/2008
Ahahah. I love this. They're pretty funny.

Sleepless in Seattle's mentioned in every romance and stuff but I haven't even seen it. Am I missing much? Is it a cryfest?I don't like those. I cry too easily.

Sh. Don't tell.

Anyway, how crazy is it that I know a Nathaniel that likes to be called Nathan/Nate and a Jocelyn that was called Joss/Jossy.

The ending line was funny btw.

I'm liking it so far.

Joss is hilarious. Nate too. Best friends, eh? This doesn't seem like it's going to be predictable. That's good.

Anyway. I'll read some more later. I should be working now. D
Anon chapter 27 . 11/16/2008
I've enjoyed reading this very much- it feels more realistic, more subtle and nuanced in terms of exploring relationships. One thing I was curious about- have Nate and Joss ever (or will they ever) work on a case together? Their work seems to be related, and I would like to see their interactions when personal and professional spheres collide. You have written a lot about them living together, about shared trauma and so forth, and I gathered (correct me if I'm wrong) that of the two, Nate is more level headed, methodical, while Joss takes more risks. Would they run into sharp disagreements concerning how to handle a case?

Please continue writing!
squiggle-line chapter 27 . 11/11/2008
Yay, new chapter!

I love the little details in the narration (how Nate is the youngest in his family, how easily Joss fits in, how she can usually fall asleep anywhere...) They make the characters real and alive. I think your characterization is the reason why I'm so drawn to this story. I care about what happens to Nate and Joss...I want them to be happy. It's crazy...I forget that they're fictional. Kudos to you for creating such characters.

Joss's inability to tolerate horror movies/television shows (December 1995) is kind of funny. I wanted to know which horror movie it was though. I think naming a specific one would bring the situation into sharper focus. I got a bit confused by this line: "Alyssa knows. Remember how tired we were the next morning?" The "we" really threw me off. At first, I thought Joss was referring to her and Nate (which didn't make any sense) instead of to Alyssa. Maybe say, "Alyssa and I" instead?

"What [] kind of freaky family watches horror movies on Thanksgiving anyway?"

I also wanted to know that it was Thanksgiving earlier in the story. It's clear that a big event is going on but I wasn't sure what it was. I think you could add it in when Nate says that the house is full of people.

Please continue!
goldenspork chapter 27 . 11/10/2008
Aww... :)
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