Reviews for Shadow Child |
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![]() ![]() ![]() That's nice way to end a story. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I absolutely love this story! This reminds of Oxanna Malaya-the feral child who was raised by wolves. |
![]() ![]() ... oh my God... You're an evil writer! *tears* '( I need there to be more now! Does that bastard get whats coming to him? Update now, i command you! Becca x |
![]() ![]() oh NO! I know what's coming! Raul is gonna follow Mila or somethin nd something's GOING to happen! 'O o O' scaredyness! Anywho, good chappie. looking forward to the next one ) Hurry up and uppydate! Becca x |
![]() ![]() AWWIES! Raul can se! It's a miracle! Mila's likeThe Wolfy Messiah! XP I can't wait for the next chappie, with like Ed and Tasha's reaction, and I wonder how Ed's going to act around Mila now... Can't wait for the next uppydate! XD Becca x |
![]() ![]() ... OMG! OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG! HE LOVES HER XD I'm happy now! I'm curious as to what's going to happen during the blizzard, cos i get a nasty feeling that this is where something will happen to Raul Can't wait for the naxt chappie XD Becca x |
![]() ![]() I've been looking forward to this! It was awsomeness! Beyond awesomness! It's Beyawsome! I can't wait for the next chappie. I want something like totally amazingly turn the whole story on it's head something to happen XD Update ASAPSVPTTFN! Becca x |
![]() ![]() ![]() aww, me likeys this chappie. Brought a smile to my face when Tasha taught her the swear words. I want to see if Mila and Ed end up together now D Keep up the great work, can't wait for the next update D Becca x |
![]() ![]() ![]() Sponsored by the Review Marathon (link in profile). Interesting! I have to admit: thus far, I haven't totally dug the chapter titles because of their slight corniness, but those aren't as important as the actual writing. I liked the developement with Raul, especially because it was an opportunity for Mila to show her persuasion over he father. Nice work. -DV- |
![]() ![]() ![]() Chapter three. Nice. Two things to watch out for: 1) Word choice. Why? Quite a few times througout the chapter I found you repeating the names of items or adjectives, and it really made the writing distasteful. 2) Dialogue format. Every now and then you put two speakers' words in one paragraph, which is a big no-no, because it totally confuses the reader as to who is speaking. Editors will tear out their retinas if they see that. And we don't want that happening, right? ...Right? -DV- |
![]() ![]() ![]() I think you could work on making the dialogue more natural, becuase right now it is pretty stiff-sounding and hard for the readers to believe. Also, you seem to have knack of shifting between first and second person, quite a turn-off for everyday readers once in a while. It kind of made me stop and question which style you wanted to utilize, thus detaching me from the story. Just my two cents. -DV- |
![]() ![]() ![]() Brought to you by the Review Marathon, check the link in my profile. So. Chapter one. I didn't like how the story just kind of rushed itself into the reader's face, because I think that the appointment of Mila to the hunting pack is a larger deal than it is made to be with this swift, almost confusing pace. So maybe extending the scene with details would work. However, I loved the set of characters; I can immediately picture Mila, the girl-wannabe-wolf in my head, and her relationship with Raul. That was great. It's a fantastic story quirk that he is blind. Nice job. Onto chapter two...! -DV- |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hello! I'm finally off school, so I can review! Yay, you updated! I loved this chapter, esp. the song. Aly and Aj are goddesses. I love all their music. I sort of understood the song that Mila remembered. A birthday song. I don't know to much spanish. :P Good job with this, though, I was also sort of freaking out when Tasha suggested shopping. I was like, Mila can't do that! It's too early! But a makeover sounds nice, I'll be watching for that one. Update soon! Velvet. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Another excellent chapter. I'm looking forward to seeing how Mila's trip to the mall turns out. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awesome chapter. I loved it, nearly every part made me laugh, especially when Natasha arrived. She is an interesting character and I hope to see more of her. Raul's joke was not funny! I thought he was for real! O.o I was actually relieved when he was joking. Glad you updated. The word for earth in wolf speak was interesting. I learned something new! XD Velvet. |