Reviews for The sea, the stars, and a lonely, wandering heart
l3g3nd chapter 1 . 6/12/2008
A. Lleyn chapter 1 . 5/31/2008
Ok, extremely beautifully poetic (mouthful of a sentence) description as usual. I wish I could write like that. Yes, Hana-chan, the plot needs work. At first glance people only see the surroundings. Honestly it's not very interesting because you have to get through the front half which is just description, description (and really good description-don't get me wrong). It was quite hard for me to focus on the girl in your story. But I really, really like the description, and the slight suspense at the end was good. Very sweet love story, but quite unrealistic. The first half, I mean. And now, DON'T YOU DARE GO AND REWRITE THIS. The second half is more interesting but has less description. Your words are very beautiful and I totally love it, but a published author told me not to do this. To him, the most important is to get the reader through without feeling bored. Your language is very poetic, and it would be nice. But the lack of action may put some people off. The description is superb, which brings us all there. But we can't really focus on the girl. Overall, a really beautiful work as usual.