Reviews for Marathon
dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 3/19/2011
Hey there. Looks like this account's been inactive for a while, so I hope you still get these reviews.

I love the word choice of this. Everything about it is so freeing. Words like "air-borne," "spread," "defying limits," and "hurl" especially stood out in my mind.

Those work well together with the flow, too. The placement of the line breaks and your decision to not make stanzas gives this a free, never-ending feel.

[But now we have freedom…] If you don't mind a nitpick, I didn't like the ellipses here. Maybe a dash instead? The ellipses gave this line hesitation that I didn't think fit the emotions of the piece.

Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)