Reviews for burden
Pzychotic chapter 1 . 7/11/2011
first of all, please make sure your grammar is correct

it's hard to read something with incorrect grammar as a poem

another thing is the rhyming pattern

i noticed that sometimes you rhyme but sometimes you don't

this pattern is a litte confuzing

i liked the 4th verse and the 5th verse

but the ending of the 5th verse should be longer

to complete the number of beats needed to sound lyrical

hope this helped :)