Reviews for Haikus
xGekkeiju chapter 2 . 6/6/2008
There's nothing better than a good haiku, in my opinion - and you've got two here!

The first one is really light, but touching - and I absolutely adore how you used the repetition of the "thump". It really made the poem unique, especially when syllables are so limited. Kudos for that. The wording is a little awkward, but other than that it's beautiful.

The second one is the opposite for me: it's worded very eloquently, but the emotion isn't as hard-hitting. It's still lovely, don't get me wrong, but in quite a different way. And this one is grammatically correct - hooray for capitals! Anyways, I would work on the emotion in this; if you can combine the emotion of the first to the wording of the second, you'll have a perfect haiku.

Keep writing, keep working at it, keep improving. (:

~Wren