Reviews for Richard Fidget
deleteddd chapter 1 . 6/7/2012
Okay, I absolutely adore this story. Richard Fidget is the most annoying,suave and absolutely irritatingly awesome character ever created. I'm going to read more and of course, when it's done, I'll read it again and again and again...
LovelySocks chapter 1 . 6/3/2012
Although I haven't quite read the entire chapter, I think that your descriptions are excellent and the plot seems to be developing nicely. Your characters seem realistic and I can picture them in my head. Well done.
Ram Attra chapter 1 . 4/24/2012
love this story the characters the deatail the stroy line and the title of the story!man if i was a publisher this would have been on the shelfs a long time i have a litle bit of luck here since someone is so amazing can you reveiw my story and possibly give some feed back for improvement or good thing in the story :)

Mate but this story has nothing wrong with and you shall cary on!
TinySliceOfHeaven chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
Wait wait wait, so I know I'll probably review again when I finish reading this story, but I've got to tell you this:

I've got a friend who says the exact thing - the "I don't make up lies, I just tell stories to gullible people" thing. o.o it just surprised me and reminded me of her. :D

Now, I shall finish reading this - or mightn't, no offense just being truthful - and shall review again. :)
SkyLyte chapter 1 . 2/17/2010
This story is hilarious. I'm glad you wrote it and keep up the good work.
SoggyLlamaTit chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
I wish I was a proficient story reviewer so I could tell you some huge long comment giving you advice and pointing out parts I particularly enjoyed, but alas. I just have to say that I honestly quite like this story of yours and it better continue and eventually come to some dramatic conclusion of some sorts or else I'll find you and do terrible things to you :)
holiday road chapter 11 . 1/11/2010
I know I haven't left any reviews lately, which is quite sucky of me to be honest. If I get enough time, I'll try to review the last three chapters, but I doubt that'll happen till June hahahahaha

That said, I just thought you should know that (after rereading a few of my favorite bits) this is still definitely my favoite FP story. I love it. You're an incredible writer, seriously. Like, if there was an Academy Awards or some kind of indie-ish awards for FP, yours would take the cake. I dunno why more people don't read it. This is great work. I suggest this to people. You're an awesome writer, man. You're brutally honest with the most beautiful characters (furry-assed Tad, included) and totally fearless. I'm taking notes hahahaha reading your stuff makes me want to write, I love it.

I want to see Richard Fidget on a bookshelf in a bookstore.

Whether or not you finish it is up to you, but this is just incredible. Just thought you should know it.

Curiosity, on a writer-to-writer basis, what kind of books do you read? I feel like you'd be able to suggest a few good ones.

Major fan,

LD
LDarko chapter 10 . 9/22/2009
I'm sorry this review will suck a lot compared to my other ones but i've been so busy.

Poor Richard, running away from home hahaha but at least he’s not seriously running away. I know boys will be boys, but sometimes Tad seems like a real jerk too. I give him a lot of slack and sometimes it seems like we're not even supposed to like him as much as Richard does.

The memories of his childhood are all funny and the ones of David when they were younger make a lot of sense because they don’t really seem to be friends because of any shared interests, but really because they only had each other. Those types of friendships are always very interesting... In this chapter Richard seems a bit more human than he regularly does.
holiday road chapter 8 . 8/22/2009
"At the moment, as I lay spread across my bed sheets, my scrotum shot up into my body cavity like a Vietcong into one of those fiendish tunnels webbing across the jungles of Southeast Asia."

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA

I can't believe he put a hole in the wall. When it first hinted at a break in I thought it might be Tad, so I'm glad I was right because I've been waiting to see him. He's funny, kind of rude/vulgar and I like how he and Richard speak/interact. Nice brother relationship, I guess; actually, it's typical but believability is always one of my biggest things. And as for knowing who's gonna rape you or not, that's funny. I wonder why Richard didn't say that his parents are getting a divorce, though... and Tad's advice seemed oddly appropriate. I didn't get why Sam was calling at like that time in the morning, though. Wonder what she had to say.

Richard's paper is going to get a weird look. For a thirteen year old, though, he's a good writer. He's smart (duhduhduhduh) and very open. I liked his story, though.
jammi chapter 3 . 8/19/2009
Richard loves to ramble, but it's like he has the majority of his conversations in his head, then when he has to speak to his mother/father/Samantha he tries to use as little words as possible, lol. So far the only person he seems to speak to in the same manner he thinks is Kowalski and when he's telling some bullshit story.

LMAO at the report reading. Especially [ suppository of fun outdoors facts (read: repository. I don’t even know where he got that from).]

Also, this: [“I really liked the character Sam, because he was resourceful and an android (adroit), but then I released (realized) that he’s only thirteen years old and then I thought it was really stupid. What kind of thirteen-year old writes like that? And besides, I can’t think of any thirteen-year old that would be as pretenious (pretentious) as to try and write a book. That’s assnine (asinine).] made me snicker. Especially seeing as how we open the chapter with him telling us out of nowhere that he's writing a book.
holiday road chapter 7 . 8/18/2009
I like Richard's observation about novels narrated by teens... if Richard doesn't change much in this story, I'll love it. I love dark humors where the protagonist doesn't change at all or much. And the "Miss Gorightry! I must plotest!" part had me laughing... I enjoyed Breakfast at Tiffany's. And I can't believe he's going to the dance. I had an inkling he'd go, but I didn't think he actually would hahaha wow.

AHAHHAH she thought he was gay! That was great. His whole romantic speech with his mother is funny (the 10:30 scene). Samantha makes Richard so uncomfortable and it's funny and realistic and painfully awkward hahaha (not in a bad way, awkward in a 13 year old way). But it's endearing and relatable. When he asked that girl for dance moves I even felt uncomfortable. His suggestion to observe the firmament was cute, too. You really have done an excellent job with Richard's character and personality; practically everything he does fits into character. And not only is it well done, but his personality is perfect; he's a normal thirteen year old boy with the voice of an American poet (or at least I think so - he reminds me of articulate, wordy postmodern American writers instead of faux-Brits)

Selling baked potatoes at a dance is pretty freakin weird though. I liked his referring to Kowalski's date as a nymphet; Richard's diction is great. I know he's a loser at school, but I don't even get why hahaha he's great. When that Yolanda girl said that I was like are you SERIOUS? ahahaha... And I like Samantha. She's normal and not perfect but her intentions are good and she seems to really like Richard. Aside from her few naggy qualities that are inherent in women (especially thirteen year old girls) Samantha seems like a genuinely good person.

But, oh no, now I feel guilty. Poor Richard... I mean, Algernon. But that's nice of Samantha to go find him. She really likes him. A lot. though calling his mother was lamelamelame. And his mother - ugh - when she pulled up like that, I wanted it to be like a nightmare or something, she's so embarrassing, poor Richard. And the almost-sex talk they had there was great. The divorce part sucks, too, but it's not a surprise. I guess she's trying to compensate. Sucks, though, and that's true; nothing as boring as a white bread suburban divorce.

I seriously love this story. I'm not trying to rush you in anyway way shape or form when I say keep up the good work.
SoggyLlamaTit chapter 6 . 8/16/2009
I have to say Im enjoying this very much. You portray the teenage guy very well.
holiday road chapter 6 . 8/15/2009
I am so pissed off, I was writing the review and my effing computer froze... shitshitshit so sorry hahaha

I don't think the whole problem with Kowalski is Richard's fault, though. Kowalski's got issues of his own, that's not Richard's fault. And your succinct description of The Outsiders is great hahahaha... but, just an observation, Richard's voice in this chapter has changed... he's noticeably more colloquial. I'm guessing it's because he's bothered by affairs with Kowalski and Samantha, but if not for any character reason then keep an eye out for it because strong voices like his are hard to keep up, I know, and I'd hate for it to fade out! He's half the show.

And that was so junior high awkward when the boy asked Samantha to the dance hahaha. And his question in English - SO his age hahaha... I can remember the moment someone asked that in 8th grade and our teacher joked that writers were being sneaky with hidden meanings...

He's right about that random fat guy, though. There's always that one fat guy... and his friends will laugh to the bank about other fat people but not fat Bob or whoever.

I hate Kowalski now, too... when that milk carton was thrown at Richard I felt really bad hahaha poor kid. But Kowalski's a douchebag.

When Richard goes to Samantha's house and they go to her room, you can practically feel the awkwardness and this self-aware comment of his ("(though allowing for an appropriate amount of space between the two of us to avoid awkwardness etc. etc.).") is really in character. Hearing him talk about his brother also made me love Richard even more... knowing he's capable of loving someone as much as he loves his brother makes his character less cold. That and the way he seems to respect Samantha.

And a typo; I know it's in dialogue, but pronunciation is phonetic and unless she's pronouncing it very differently, then Samantha saying "You must of got" would be "You must've got." If she'd written that, I'd let it slide because most high schoolers don't even remember that... And that awkward pause was only made super incredible by Richard's internal workings.

HAHAHA I just reached the scene where she asks him to the dance - his awkward reaction was priceless. Running out like that only emphasizes how young and inexperienced he really is. Richard is the only artist I've ever found attractive in writing hahaha... they're usually little pussies. You win. and for a 14 year old - most 14 year olds I read about make me want to hurt somebody because THEY suck or the person who wrote them sucks. You win win win.

So does Alex, for that matter.

And Samantha seems positively taken by Richard, but given his personality, you can't blame her.
Sir Pebbles chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
Haha. Great first chapter. Or, eh, Chapter 0. XD I'm liking this Richard kid. I will keep reading! (And I love that second last paragraph. "Maybe I'll die halfway through it all, just to keep you on your toes.") Good job! :P
holiday road chapter 5 . 8/10/2009
"Grappling one another in semi-homoerotic positions" made me laugh. It's one of those things we all know and laugh about but, I dunno, the way you said it had me laughing hahaha

And this - rskolnikov: It’s going to take a lot more laughing before he accomplishes that.

HAHAHAHAHA I'm going to use that in everyday conversation!

Richard and Kowalski are cute friends. Their little pranks were funny and their little questionairres to each other about liking people and such was believable and awkward (which makes sense because I don't know how much thought boys put into that anyway, but probably not as much as girls do and people seem to forget that a lot). And Richard's mother has some insecurity issues... and Samantha's cute. I can't tell if she and Richard are flirting or anything but if they aren't (or even if they aren't) they have a unique relationship... and so do Richard and Kowalski for that matter.

As for "eggs on toast" is he talking about french toast hahaha? or an egg in the basket?

is the "solitary boy in a trench coat too large for him" a random Goth kid? cos if he is then you rule hahaha

When Kowalski got so pissy and made Richard walk home alone and then he had to deal with his mother after getting his hopes up about Tad - that made me groan. Now i can tell Richard's mother is supposed to be one o fthose moms who's just so unhappy with how things have turned out because she wanted 'better' (or at least that's what I'm getting) and it's nice to see parents who are given a character and stick with it; it's really nice to see parents with flaws that are human and believable... like most kids in Richard's situation can relate to that and kids who aren't should be able to understand the situation at least. His fat dad makes me laugh hahaha.

But boy, when Kowalski gets pissy he gets bad. He takes things a lot more personally than Richard does, he's so sensitive. But it's believable and not like out of left field or anything so I like it hahaha. I hope he doesnt end uip shitting Richard, though, because Richard seems like a decent kid. He's a bit of a douche but what smart 13 year old isn't.

Still enjoying it, and it is starting to seem like those suburbia stories but whatever cos those rule epically, too.
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