Reviews for The Power Quintet, Book 1: Jeras and Eric
Bob Da Peach chapter 9 . 2/10/2010
Pssh...looking back on these've made yourself into a huge Mary Sue.


*laughs at you*

...still like it though...would be nice if you finished it.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 9 . 12/27/2008
Well, that was interesting. I can't help but think that the government knows more than they're letting on, though. What right minded human who very much enjoys life would go right on and destroy ghosts and ghouls? Hmm.

An interesting chapter, nonetheless. Velvet.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 8 . 12/27/2008
Oh, I can't agree that it was all horrible. The battle was engaging to read, I clung onto each word. The only problem I really had was scene changes. Everything in scene flowed perfectly, but once you cut through scenes, it was very hard to read.

There was one thing I noticed: "Midnight echoed him . . ." Did you mean Nightmare?

Other than that, it was a rather good chapter. I wonder who that girl was though. Hmm.

VelvetyCheerio chapter 7 . 12/21/2008
Hooray! More updates. Hmm, this chapter was good, though, I must say, the three of them going around with their powers and all, isn't a little dangerous?

I mean, what about the people in the city? Don't they hear the trees being ripped from the earth or see the brilliant flash of lightining? I don't know, it just feels like in this chapter, you were concentrating more on Jeras, Scott, and Matt more than the people in the city or who might be walking around to see them.

Well, good chapter all in all, I hope you update again soon! By the way, that plant thing was kinda of funny. I can just imagine having a plant slither around like a snake or something. :D

VelvetyCheerio chapter 6 . 12/20/2008
Nice. Excellent chapter. This Nightmare girl looks like she's going to be an interesting character. I can't wait to see her start duking it out with the forces of good, her power is amazing.

Though, the fact that she'll be merely a puppet is sad. I wonder how more dangerous she would be if she had a stable mind. Hmm.

This was good and I'm glad you updated. :) Hope you update soon again!

Catherine Abellanosa chapter 1 . 12/20/2008
okay... to start, i really loved the way you played with your words. i truly envy you for that. nice connection with the opulence and prestige part. i could just imagine the limo bouncing. hahahaha... nice description.

you talked about the character by describing him first, right? i thought that was a new way to write a story character. you gave me a new idea. thanks!

but i just thought that there were a lot of descriptions before the dialogues. i thought that was the lag part of it. but i'm not putting it at the bad side of things. of course we have to depict everything right? to make everybody imagine what we are talking about.

i couldn't comment more on the grammar. i really thought it was good. this particular line really caught me, "The rat can summon a flame without any need of combustible materials or even a spark".. no reason at all, i just liked the line.. hehehe...

good job!

keep it up!

Graveside Rose chapter 6 . 12/20/2008
I've already read this chapter and I rather enjoy Nightmare.

Now the only thing that would make this story cooler was if it had tits and was on fire.

But sadly, the fire will have to wait. Thats presuming their is fire.

But what sort of story would it be without fire?
VelvetyCheerio chapter 5 . 8/29/2008
Oh, Jeras is jealous! Hehe. Scott is funny, I like him. I had this thought in my head that Matt was going to be jock like, especially when you said he was athletic. Well, I stand corrected.

Hmm, that part when you went from science classroom to chat room was really, uh, bad? It would have helped if you put a transistion sentence or a dash or something like that.

Other than that, good job. Keep it up with this story. I still love it. VelvetyCheerio.
VelvetyCheerio chapter 4 . 8/29/2008
Hwy, woot! I remember this story before I became an FP member. I loved it! I love it now! Sometimes the scenes change without warning, but that's alright. Sorta. Just slightly confusing. On to the next chapter. Good chapter here, though. VelvetyCheerio.
Axel Scott chapter 2 . 6/20/2008
... that is realy friggin good. The demon somewhat reminds me of Chaos Drake, but he was cool anyway. My only suggestion would be to put a break line in between Jeras and Eric's parts, so it's easier to see, i thought Jeras took the angel's and the demon's offers. Anyway, this is really good.

- Axel Graham Chime.
Bob Da Peach chapter 2 . 6/12/2008


Graveside Rose chapter 1 . 6/11/2008
As I have told you, is good. Pretty good imagry.
UltimateShe chapter 1 . 6/11/2008

Castillo went pow

liek dead


sux 2 be ded n shit


No doubt Chavez will emerge with super powers and a taste for blood.

Which is where our blood moat would come in handy...

I want to read more?

I demand it.

Bob Da Peach chapter 1 . 6/7/2008

I love that prologue

It makes me smile, yay for fat freaky boss's!