|Reviews for His Baby|
| Lucid Lune in Acoustic chapter 1 . 8/13/2009
LoL, holding my tongue for the next few _ So what made you think Mafia? Hitmen Awesome, but whatevs. Anyways, I'm trying to write my first MPreg so I know how you feel, lol. God, it can be so awkward. Anywhow, liked it. Laiden is an Awesome name by the way. Ireland too. People named after Places, _ that's why I'm all FOR Brooklyn Beckham
| kiki19857 chapter 5 . 7/28/2009
| jessicas favorite stories chapter 5 . 7/24/2009
u cut off on the best part !
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE?
| TheLadyPendragon chapter 5 . 7/6/2009
This story is wonderful. After all, how can it not be? Gay boys, mafioso, strong women (or at least woman, in Donna's case), and mpreg. Honestly, mpreg is my guilty pleasure. It's so cute. I made an mpreg community and added this to it, and I can't wait to read more of it! Hopefully, you heal from your trucking injury. Feel better (just so you know, writing always makes people feel better, hint-hint.)
| Esquirella chapter 5 . 7/2/2009
Why did you stop writing this?
| llyzsm2 chapter 5 . 4/25/2009
Argh, update! lol *puppy eyes*
| queen pixie chapter 5 . 4/7/2009
I love this story!plz update..this is the only good mpreg story that gets updated!
| ChaoticFenris chapter 5 . 3/28/2009
please update soon )
| Sekre chapter 5 . 3/21/2009
| BCSaturdai chapter 5 . 3/7/2009
I didn't realise that this story was still going on! Yay!
Great story, btw.
| sydchan chapter 5 . 2/25/2009
I figured I should probably review this and stop being lazy. Plus, your last two reviews for this made me sad since they seem so angry.
Donna kind of freaks me out. They are suppose to be criminals though, so I suppose it would seem weird if they were all super nice and friendly. And I just remebered that Donna is from that other mafia and it seems like so is Erin. That would make them related, right? Doesn't that mean Erin and Laiden are related too? Maybe it's distant enough that it doesn't matter or maybe I'm just confused and they aren't actually related.
Anyway, interesting chapter. It be nice if you'd update soon since I'm curious as to what will happen next. I'd threaten you with whips and chains, but sadly I don't have any or the money to buy them.
| Rachizzle chapter 5 . 2/24/2009
"Claimer: This story and all the characters are MINE . Do not attempt to steal because there is an Alien- Mexican or interstellar visitors? who knows! - space craft ready to abduct you at my command."
Why would anyone WANT to steal the story or the characters? No offense and all, but this story sucks just slightly. Before you update next time, you might want to check for spelling errors and learn the difference between "your" and "you're" I mean, it's pretty simple... just press that little button that usually says "ABC"...
| Ominously anonymous chapter 1 . 2/24/2009
Why would a complete stranger take the time to write a note like that...? I don't get it. A lot of people have one night stands and don't take the time to say "it's better this way" and whatever. They just fuck and go their separate ways. It's realistic. Much more realistic than that note.
Also...why are you changing between 3rd and 1st person? Why not just stick to third and then go back and forth that way? The way it is now just is...weird. And not the good weird. Not to mention that that second part pretty much reiterates what was in the note and Erin's part. Yes, he's tired and sore. Yes, the room's paid for till tomorrow. We already know.
And why is the first section in past tense, the second in past, and the third part in present? As well as sticking with one POV, staying in the same TIME would be cool too.
Another thing... A lot of your sentences start with "I" or "he." Try switching up your sentence structure.
...And in the second chapter... "Your pregnant."
His pregnant what? His pregnant hamster? His pregnant dog? I think what you meant to say was "You're pregnant." If that's the case, it makes a lot more sense. Especially for such an important moment...
"How in the hell was I going to tell Laiden?" Why would he have to tell him anything...?
I was actually kind of excited to see some mpreg that had been updated recently. This disappointed me and I have to stop reading lest I...cry. Good luck with it though. Seriously consider fixing those tense issues, yeah?
| Lovecupid chapter 5 . 2/20/2009
This is an interesting story. I can't wait to read more.
| Midnights Scream chapter 5 . 2/13/2009
Interesting! I wonder how that meeting is going to go.