|Reviews for Secrets of Andover|
| mydreamadventure chapter 16 . 8/18/2012
oh wow i honeslt cant stop finidng books i really enjoy reading on ficpress, this is no exception it was amazing i loved it very very unique! keep writing. sequel sequel!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 11 . 8/19/2011
Oooo what's she getting herself into? I don't expect the others will react very well to her going to the formal with Tucker. I like the way you throw things like that in there; it makes it feel natural and realistic, like a proper high school, so great job with those little touches. This part - ["Agreed." I disentangled myself from my pillow and stood up. "I think I'm going to shower."
With my uniform in one hand and my towel between my hair and my neck, I made my way back down the hall, stopping just before my door. I could hear voices—the boys were in there. Why was it that I always overheard their conversations? Naturally, I stopped outside to listen.] I found a little confusing. Lyla seems suddenly to appear in that room, when seconds ago she was in the bedroom. I think you could just say she's coming back from the shower, to make it a bit more clear? [Me?" I laughed. "Yeah, right." I'm totally not gonna end up going."] Extra sppech marks there :P Anyway, yeah, great stuff! Loved it!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 10 . 8/11/2011
As always, great chapter. The action scenes were written really well, and overall it flowed quite smoothly. I liked the introduction of another, unknown group; it adds another element to it, especially as none of them know whether the group are there to help or hinder. As always, I think the dialogue between the characters works well and you do a good job of showing rather than telling the kind of relationship they have with each other. I liked how Holly stepped in to help with the fight; it shows her personality well, and fits in with the kind of person she is. Nice cliffhanger ending, too.
| MidnightxAngel42 chapter 2 . 8/4/2011
I like it, I can't wait to read the rest of the other chapters.
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 9 . 7/31/2011
Loving this as always, and as usual I really like the narrative voice. The way you start the chapter is done quite well, too, with the rumours being spread around. I have to admit, however, you could do with some scene breaks - at the moment, everything merges together, and it makes it difficult to follow in some places. I also noticed as well that the conversation with Jackson and Holly, where they're asking questions, gets a bit hard to follow, too. At one point, it seems that you maybe had Holly answer a line that reads, to me, like it should be Jackson? This bit - [Jackson laughed. "Summer. Do you have any siblings?"
"Nope. Favorite candy?"
I thought for a moment. "Peppermint patties. Definitely."] Maybe just have a look over that bit. I don't think you need to add anything, just make sure it's clear who is speaking and where. Anyway, yeah, great chapter and I'll be reading the next soon!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 8 . 6/17/2011
Nice chapter; I like the growing bond between her and the others, now that she has powers too, although the chapter, as a whole, did feel a bit long. As well as that, it felt just a little jumpy when the scene changed - maybe think of a scene break of some sort? Just a suggestion. Nice reaction towards Holly by Bryn and Lillian - I think it's realistic, as are all of your interactions between characters. And the subtle hints of her feelings for Jackson, again, work very well. The teenage characters remain believeable, even with the powers and stuff. Loved it!
| Chickwiththesquirtgun chapter 5 . 5/20/2011
Ahhh the things alcohol can do to people. I'm still not a fan of Bryn. But the end is definitely keeping me interested! Eep!
| Chickwiththesquirtgun chapter 4 . 5/20/2011
I'm liking the mystery :) This chapter was pretty detailed, i like it!
| Chickwiththesquirtgun chapter 3 . 5/20/2011
You do a nice job of keeping the readers interested... At least that's the case for me.
| Chickwiththesquirtgun chapter 2 . 5/20/2011
hmmmm. Bryn is making me curious. Along with Lyla. p.s... love all of the names!
| Chickwiththesquirtgun chapter 1 . 5/20/2011
Love it so far! I can tell already that this story is definitely going to be a very well developed story with a great plot! Jackson sounds... dreamy ;)
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 7 . 5/20/2011
OK, so firstly, the whole kids-at-school-are-witches idea is a little cliche, but I think you manage to handle it in a way that makes it slightly different and original, so good job with that. (Even if they say they're not witches, they kind of are :P) Although I'm not sure how I feel on her becoming 'prettier', it does explain why the others are good looking. But, instead of maybe saying she was prettier, you could make it more subtle; just describe the changes maybe? I just think the prettier line might put some people off...just a suggestion. Anyway, yeah, considering most of that chapter was explanation rather than action, it was still enjoyable to read. Good job, as always.
| Just Silly Me chapter 16 . 5/19/2011
Wow, they've changed FictionPress up a lot!
I really do love Holly. I've missed seeing her. (Speaking of which, you should send me the last two chapters so I can look at them some time. We've both been pretty busy.)
I'm glad she ends up with Jackson! It's a bit late and I'm kind of disoriented right now, so this review is going to be kind of short, sorry. :/. But I'm glad you did end up finishing this, and I can't wait to see where it's going!
Ah, Holly. I love your strong personality. It's rather unforgettable. Just like this story.
Anyway, if you'd like, send the chapters/other one-shots. I've missed these characters so much!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 6 . 5/5/2011
Great, great, great chapter! I think it worked really well and yeah, the cut off point worked brilliantly. I really liked the interactions between them all and I think you portrayed Holly's confusion really well. I loved all the guys, and the ending...it had the right amount of tension and build up for it. Will read the next chapter ASAP - can't wait for the explanation!
| Dreamers-Requiem chapter 5 . 4/27/2011
Again, I really like the sense of realisim you have in this - the whole party scene was described really well, and yeah, it seemed pretty much like my experience of those kind of parties. I like how she didn't get with Tucker, but got annoyed instead, and not at him either; (even if he was being an arse) but at Bryn, which again I think is fairly realistic of the high-school girl mindset. Great build up of suspense at the end, and I really liked the way she just hears part of the conversation, the confusion that surrounds that very last bit. Overall, great stuff, as always.