Reviews for Devil Take It All
AJS chapter 11 . 9/10/2011
Since you're in the process of your rewrite, maybe my review will be able to help you along the way, if you haven't already figured out some of the stuff I'm about to say.

All in all this was a really cute story and I enjoyed it a lot. I was searching and searching for a good story to read and finally happened upon yours and didn't want to put it down. So I think that pretty much speaks for itself.

However I feel like it could have used more meat to it, started from your prologue. I could definitely tell the difference in your writing between your prologue and the rest of your chapters, but even then I think it could have benefited from some more meat as well. I feel like a lot of things just came and went in this story as well. For example, Dan. She was just fired? Just like that? And why is she going back to grad school when I thought the prologue said she had just finished. I would have thought she'd be more upset about her job though. Also Chad. He is such a charming character but I still feel like their relationship went too fast and... he fell in love so fast? That was a little surprising to me. And that she could genuinely respond back. I can see how they feel like they're on the road to it, or that they know it'll happen in due time, but I just don't feel like they were actually close enough to actually be there. Also how did Chad know that Nessa had broken up with Vince? And why did he never question if Nessa had been cheating on Vince when they slept together? And why was it never questioned at all why Chad decided to have a one night stand with Nessa? Sure Nessa had the excuse for thinking she was about to die, but what about Chad?

The ending was definitely rushed as well. It was never explained and answered why Thane was okay with Chad and Nessa but he wasn't okay with Jonah and Neveda. I can speculate that it's 1) because they knew each other from a way other than himself, 2) he knew how much Chad cared about that girl, 3) he's not as close to Chad as he is to Jonah, 4) he was upset because he knew how much Chad cared about the other girl and then to find out Chad is suddenly with his sister instead... but it still doesn't really make sense that he's upset about Neveda but okay with Nessa. Especially since Neveda is older than Nessa. My other issue with this is that even though I might be able to speculate the reasons behind all this, it really should have been stated. I know you wanted to leave some open ends in order to write a sequel, but I think there should also been a certain amount of closure in order to properly end a story.

In terms of the ending being rushed, it's extremely surprising that Chad chose to propose practically the day after they started dating and especially in the midst of all the chaos. The timing itself just seems a bit inappropriate, if not rude. Also, I don't see how Nessa's parents could even agree to it. They have never met or even heard of this guy and suddenly he asks to marry their daughter? What parent in their right mind would agree to that? And why would Nessa agree? It's not even like they're both really old and that's why they're rushing things.

In spite of all of this though, I did really enjoy the story, and it's very cute and I'm happy that they ended up together. Best of luck with your rewrite. I might check out the sequel as well.

- Alyssa
leavemeialone chapter 13 . 7/9/2011
Aw. . . .this story is too cute. I really enjoyed it and it was great, since I read the rewrite for this story first. I was so surprise that Thane was okay with her and Chad's relationship so quickly. I like how that even though the two knew each other for such a short amount of time, they love each other so dearly and everyone approves of them getting married. I love the characters you have created here. :D
DofD chapter 11 . 5/27/2011
Yey!
DofD chapter 10 . 5/27/2011
Awwww!
DofD chapter 9 . 5/27/2011
I am so in love with this!
DofD chapter 8 . 5/27/2011
Just like me and my siblings.
DofD chapter 7 . 5/27/2011
Oh god. Poor Nessa.
DofD chapter 6 . 5/27/2011
I still love Thane.
DofD chapter 5 . 5/27/2011
She can have Chad. I want Thane.
DofD chapter 4 . 5/27/2011
I like him. A lot.
DofD chapter 3 . 5/27/2011
Aww!

He works with her brother!
DofD chapter 2 . 5/27/2011
Ha and he still has no idea what happened. I bet he thinks she lied.
DofD chapter 1 . 5/27/2011
Amazing. Cant wait to read the rest.
goanywhere chapter 12 . 5/8/2011
Ah...love this story. Sorry I haven't reviewed, I tend to do that...
AJ Taylor chapter 8 . 4/9/2011
LOL this story keeps getting funnier and funnier.
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