Reviews for Close
Midnight In Eden chapter 1 . 6/15/2008
First of all, fabulous enjambment. I particularly enjoyed the line breaks of L2/3, L3/4 and the break between the stanzas. They created not only a great rhythm but really brought another level to the meaning of those phrases.

I'm just not sure about the end "this". It seems out of place and tacked on instead of flowing naturally to that conclusion. Ending on simply "accept" feels a bit more profound.

Overall though, great structure and an interesting premise make this a good read.

One thing - check out the Review Marathon, it's part of the Review Game and there's a link in my profile.

simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
I didn't like where you separated the two stanzas, but I did like this being on it's own eyes. I also liked the thing about falling into the words because that was a bit unexpected. Nice job.
instantramen chapter 1 . 6/12/2008
Very pretty, I didn't know if I'd like the structure but you really made it work, good job!