|Reviews for Season colors|
| I see London I see Sam's Town chapter 1 . 6/18/2008
You use imagery wonderfuly and effectively, which drew me in to the poem-especially the first stanza. I love scenes unfolding in my mind when I read any story or poem. I particularly loved reading this part:
"If I could be a compass
I'd guide you to me one more time.
But even if it's the last time
we exchange illusions
at least we're an illusion too,
one made by our inner dreamers.
Perhaps you had wings to fly
and like a selfish sun I burned them."
I can't say why, exactly, but I think the compass bit is rather cute, and the following stanzas were written with good imagery and I liked how selfishness is mentioned. Like you say, it's a typical love tale... It reminds me of romance stories I grew up reading about when I was little girl. Overall, lovely poem :)
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 6/17/2008
I like it! You really did a great job of fixing it up and the descriptions were really great. And thanks for the mention!
| Kikyuu chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
I really like the first two lines. They drew me in effectively and then I got to "Let's wait for the first raindrop to fall;/it's the perfect scenario to say goodbye," and realised, I've gotta keep reading! Other lines that really appealed to me were "it's more cold and less magical without you,/how can I finish the snow castle?".
Just one small thing - for the lines "I grasp the raindrops which/trickle down my fingers,/have you cried like that?", I think it would be better if you replaced the comma with either ; or . It seems as if that should be more of a stop than it is.
Apart from that, I think you've done a really good job with this.
| LadyRini478 chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
I loved this! The imagery is beyond simple beauty, it is amazing! I could feel every word of that poem, and feel the imagery pulse through my heart! Wonderful work! Please write more! And thank you also for reviewing my poems, it means a lot to any writer to have their work critqued by other writers. Thank you!
| Unique1952 chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
This is very sweet...somewhat sad, but vert sweet just the same. I enjoyed reading this, nice work.
| Averybarbarian chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
Hmm I like it compares a relationship to the comming seasons. Interesting. Futhermore, you have blended the words together consiberly well to articulate the feelings of loss and sadness. Well done and thanks for your review!
| Saranghae chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
Very good poem! Great job!