|Reviews for I can say I love you|
| XxXKristie MarieXxX chapter 1 . 6/20/2008
omg this is so sweet. I love the entire thing. adding to C2!
| Black and White Dreams chapter 1 . 6/16/2008
I have to say this could be better. This poem has a lot of potential. It is very sweet, an outpouring of emotions, but it's just so choppy.I think you say "I love you" too many times throughout the poem. You can get your point across much stronger
if you omit it in some places. You also have two rhyming lines
"It's not your tender look,
which reads me like a book."
If you do not have a thorough pattern of rhyme through out the poem, I would say not to use it at all. You could have one couplet in your poem, which is two rhyming lines together,
but it would sound much, much better at the end of the piece. And i you don't use rhyming anywhere else, it would have to be very subtle. You would have to make it so the writer hardley notices there is a rhyme in the poem.
I hope you take my advice and I hope it helps you in the future. I'm sorry if I have offended you in any way. Thanks so much or the review you left me.
Black and White Dreams
| Unique1952 chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
This is almost songish - I can almost imagine a rhythm going with it. Nice work, I liked it.
| Daemone Angelus chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
Beautiful poem, and all too true. Never any single thing.
Now, for my little bit of criticism. I think the line 'maybe it's all about you' atands out well enough to not be underlined. especially as the center of the poem (well, almost exact center). Good poem. I also read fallen, and thought it had a marvelous ending, that set the stage for the entire poem, as an amazing climax, but it has 15 reviews, and I didn't feel like being one of the numbers. :PYou are an amazing writer.
| Qzie chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
That was a very sweet poem. The last two lines made me laugh. Very smile-worthy. -Qzie
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 6/13/2008
I like it, as I said it's sweet. The only thing. That underlines line, I think you meant maybe it's everything about you. That how it would be phrased anyway. Nice piece.